Do you ever feel like you’re about to get sick, but the actual sickness takes days or even weeks to manifest itself? Observance, a new film by Australian director Joseph Sims-Dennett, made on a microbudget and which received acclaim at Montreal’s Fantasia Festival, taps into that unsettlingly suffocating feeling of disease in a major way.
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In his third feature, Trash Fire, Richard E. Bates taps into very visceral discomfort and revulsion in so many ways that it’s disorienting, but uniquely, he largely does it with dialogue rather that with traditional scares or gore. At the same time, Bates mixes in an undercurrent of his particular brand of black humor to ensure that you’re laughing at the most inappropriate situations.
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On this episode of TV or GTFO, we’re going to introduce you to a little-known indie actor named RYAN GOSLING, via the extremely Canadian hit (???) series, Breaker High!
Watch as Ryan and his pals sail around the world to several countries (inasmuch as “taping a flag to the wall of a nondescript room” is another country) under the guise of getting an education from a high school on a boat. We ask how these horny kids manage to avoid every STD on the planet while sailing around in what amounts to a petri dish, whether the girls in the cast have telepathic abilities, why there’s a bully on the ship that seems older than any of the teachers, and how anyone could possibly think that dropping a bunch of teenagers into a Japanese monastery would result in any cultural sensitivity whatsoever.
We’re sailing the seven seas with the blandest, Canadianest high school that ever decided to raise the anchor! AND RYAN GOSLING! An ultra-low budget 90210 on a freakin’ boat? GTFO!
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The life of a Lyon is never easy. Constantly hunted, often abused, and subjected to the threat of confinement. When Season 2 of Empire wrapped up, the Lyon family was in shambles. Hakeem (Bryshere Y. Gray) and Laura’s (Jamila Velazquez) fairytale wedding was broken up by a gun-toting, fight-starting, wasted Shyne Johnson (Xzibit) and Anika (Grace Gealey), still carrying Hakeem’s baby, was subpoenaed to testify against patriarch Lucious. In order to avoid this, Lucious (Terrence Howard) decided to hijack poor Hakeem’s wedding and force his whole family, including Cookie (Taraji P. Henson), to watch him marry Anika, a woman he clearly despises since she can’t testify against him if they tie the knot. Cookie finally swore off Lucious for good, but this predictably lasted about one minute because he’s just that charming. More on that later.
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Though Westerns are generally not my thing (I consider the genre’s zenith to be 1988’s Young Guns, which is effectively an issue of Tiger Beat in Stetson hats), I was drawn to Martin Koolhoven’s Brimstone on the strength of the cast and early buzz that its extreme content would fit appropriately in TIFF’s audacious Midnight Madness programme, if not for its sprawling running time. In both cases, I wasn’t disappointed. Koolhoven’s script is as heartbreaking and well-acted as it is uncompromisingly brutal and terrifying, and his cast, led by Dakota Fanning and Guy Pearce, execute the difficult material perfectly.
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When the best thing you can say about a film is that “it’s not quite as transphobic as people are saying”, you know that film has major issues.
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On this week’s TV or GTFO, Sachin and Gary review the extremely 1990s “Baywatch on Bikes” series, Pacific Blue. Running from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network (also the home of a similar Baywatch ripoff, Thunder In Paradise), this five-season wonder was retooled more thoroughly than the old Raleigh you’ve had since 1988. Did adding ’90s hunkerino Mario “AC Slater” Lopez increase the quality of this show in any measurable way? Spoiler: No it did not!
Does anyone on this show ever talk or react like a human being? Is there any reason to have a bike unit on a beach when bikes can neither traverse sand nor water? Will TC ever put on a shirt? For the love of Pete, will they ever wrap up a storyline properly? Well grab your helmet, put on your teensy shorts, and hop on your ten-speed for Pacific Blue!
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The lure of a colourful mask, high-flying and fast-paced energy, and over-the-top characters can’t be denied, even among non-fans of pro wrestling. Lucha libre, Mexico’s own brand of pro wrestling, is an intrinsic part of Mexican culture, and Alex Hammond and Ian Markiewicz’s documentary Lucha Mexico puts this phenomenon on full display, warts and all.
On this episode of TV or GTFO, Sachin and Gary take a look at the most Canadian show ever, The Littlest Hobo!
Running from 1979 to 1985, but somehow not aging or changing or evolving in any meaningful way in that time period, this is the story of one dog (or is it multiple dogs?) and his journey to help rural Canadians out of any number of sticky situations over the course of 114 episodes.
Why does Hobo constantly find himself with a gun? Can he successfully co-pilot a helicopter and operate a parachute? Why is he consistently smarter than any human on the show? Is Michael Bay producing a gritty 2020 reboot called “H.O.B.O”? How did they find a bunch of dogs that are better actors than the Olsen Twins? Well grab your hat, travel light, and join us for this week’s episode – HOBO STYLE.
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This whole batshit season of Lucha Underground, starting with the rise and fall of Mil Muertes, the introduction of the monster Matanza, and everything in between, has led to this moment. The final three episodes for the year comprise “Ultima Lucha Dos,” Lucha Underground’s season finale, and all the pieces are in place for some wild confrontations.