Commercial Appeal: Three TV Ad Tropes That Have Littered My Life (and everyone else’s)

By Jesse Roth

Television, for better or worse, has always played a significant role in my life. Its influence, however, did not stop when my favorite shows would “take five” for the benefit of their sponsors. A good portion of my TV-related memories seem to involve the various ads clogging the airwaves, some of which were far more memorable than the shows they were sponsoring. Though I was rarely motivated enough to buy the products they were promoting, the following commercials have found a permanent home in my mind, no matter how hard I try to forget them.
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Sleaze-O-Rama: Remembering the Halcyon Days of the Daytime Talk Show

By Jesse Roth

The conclusion of Oprah‘s 25-year run on daytime television was heralded as the end of an era in several respects. Never again are we likely to see a media figure with as much power and widespread appeal as the mighty O. She was the figurehead of a special daytime ruling class, one that was seemingly overthrown by changing tastes long before she was willing to abdicate the throne. Despite her attempts to distance herself from her early years, enough people remember Oprah as a proud member (along with the likes of Geraldo Rivera and Morton Downey, Jr.) of the inaugural class of daytime sleaze, perverting a genre once owned by the legendary Phil Donahue. Though the daytime talk show genre is still kicking around the airwaves, its power and impact has been greatly reduced, crushed by the one-two punch of reality television and social media.

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Oscars 2011: Who Should Win (even if I didn’t see all the movies)

By Jesse Roth

I like to think of the movie awards season like American politics: Millions all over the country offering up their baseless, uneducated opinions on various candidates and platforms, supporting them for all the wrong reasons and then bitching about the outcome, even when their candidate is declared the winner. As a dedicated fan of the moving picture, I figured it was time to throw my hat into the ring, writing my own pointless article regarding the upcoming Oscars. Throughout the year, I’ve had the chance to see many (but not all) of the nominated films and performances, and base my picks on a myriad of criteria, ranging from the educated to the downright irrational. Then again, I’m only following some of the same rationale used by those who are actually mailed official Academy ballots.

*Movies I have seen are denoted with an asterisk.
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Three Bittersweet Songs to Walk Down the Aisle To

By Jesse Roth

Having hit that stage of my life where just about everyone I know is getting married, I have been somewhat forced to think about the details of my own wedding. From considering possible locations and times of the year, to who does (or does not) get an invite, I have a certain degree of confidence that I know what I want for my “big day” and possibly how to go about it.

This is all despite two very significant facts: (1) I don’t have any semblance of a significant other at the moment and (2) I’m not even sure I want a wedding when I do actually get married. Nevertheless, I am fully prepared when the time comes to plan a cost-effective, fun, reflective-of-me-and-spouse mini-spectacular . . . or just haul ass to the courthouse.

Though the jury is still out for me about about whether or not I want to dance at my wedding, I do know that walking down an aisle is almost unavoidable in most ceremonies, and usually involves some level of melodic noise. Over time, I have come across a few songs that were both beautiful as well as meaningful enough in my own life to warrant usage in a possible aisle journey. Being one of many who soundtrack their significant life moments to particular songs, I have also looked to my treasure trove of music to aid me in this fantastical pursuit. In several cases, however, I stumbled upon some aspect of the song’s history (or the story told in the lyrics) that caused me to wonder if such a sad tale ran counter to the image most of us are trying to project in a wedding environment. Presented are three such songs that I may find myself conveniently misinterpreting on my journey down the aisle:
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I (Think) I Want To Believe

By Jesse Roth

The concept of ghosts has always been one of those ideas I’ve wanted to buy into, but logic and practicality always seem to get in the way. Even as a child, I was usually able to explain away the strange sights and occurrences I would see or hear, usually with a mix of relief and slight disappointment.

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Ben Folds Five, Whatever And Ever Amen

By Jesse Roth

The end of every school year is always filled with a mix of emotions. There’s the excitement of finally being done with another grueling, possibly boring 180 days of state-sanctioned education. There’s a tinge of sadness that you may not see your friends for a whole three months, or possibly forever. And for some of us, there’s that mix of bitterness and angst that you feel in regards to your not-so-beloved alma mater and its denizens, briefly interrupted by daydreams of busting out and becoming someone other than some unknown dork hanging out in the hallways.

How does a person properly sum up these various feelings regarding the newly completed school year, other than trite yearbook quotes or lame pranks? For this awkward teen, it involved the passenger seat of mom’s car, my middle finger, and Ben Folds Five.
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Lost And Never Found Again: My Myrtle Beach Pavilion Season Pass

Photo © 2006
Erechtheus

Myrtle Beach provided me with a rather idyllic childhood: a laid-back, relatively safe beach town with just enough activities and picturesque landscape to keep me engaged. To top it all off, we had the Myrtle Beach Pavilion. With a little over 40 rides packed into an 11-acre parcel just off the ocean, the Pavilion was the best place to spend a day.
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The Art or the Crime?

By Jesse Roth

The arrest of director Roman Polanksi in the fall of 2009 on a decades-old arrest warrant stirred up quite a bit of controversy on many fronts. For some, it was the unexpected but welcome capture of a convicted sexual predator, allowed to run free in Europe for far too long. Others, particularly those in the Hollywood community, were quick to defend one of their own on charges they felt were unwarranted. They wanted Polanski to be free to escape his troubled past, allowed to continue to perfect the craft that made him famous.

As the debate raged on, some brought up the idea that people should boycott the films of Polanski and the actors that supported his scandalous freedom fight. In the eyes of these protestors, the viewing and enjoyment this man’s films meant supporting the actions of a child molester.

Roman Polanski then

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Growing Old With The State

By Jesse Roth

Bopping along through the 1990s, I found myself immersed in a rather enjoyable childhood. I was growing in all the same ways my elementary-aged kid peers were, while also straddling the fence between juvenile pleasures and my desire to feel more grown-up. This divide applied almost everywhere in my life, from musical tastes to imagining that I was living a twenty-something life like my idols on MTV and other teen/adult-friendly fare. At this same juncture in life, I was also refining my sense of humor, discovering what made me laugh beyond the physical comedy I enjoyed in cartoons, Three Stooges shorts, and the very early Woody Allen films (such as Take the Money and Run) my family had introduced to me.
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My Very Own Christmas (and Hanukkah!) Mixtape

By Jesse Roth

Every holiday season, the media never fails to deliver its audience the unwelcome gift of what I’d like to call the “and your point is?” story. From what I can tell, the big story this time around reflects on this new phenomenon known as “people other than Bing Crosby recording Christmas music.” Thus far, most of the stories have gone along the lines of “Oh. My. God. You mean Bob Dylan released a Christmas album?! And Mariah Carey released one in 1994?! And wait? What’s this? Andrea Bocelli has one too, and he’s singing with MUPPETS?!? What a craaaazy decade we’re suffering through!”
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