Stars Of The Pewter Screen: Trash Movies

John Terlesky in Deathstalker II

John Terlesky

This guy has been in a lot of things, but mostly works behind the scenes. I had the pleasure of watching him in Deathstalker II: Duel of The Titans. This is by FAR one of the best trashy films ever made, and he was fucking hilarious in the lead role. Don’t even bother with the other parts of the Deathstalker series. . . this is the only one that is worthwhile. I mean, the guy totally wrestled with Queen Kong/Matilda The Hun from G.L.O.W. Gals! It’s worth watching for that part alone! A friend of mine watched it with me and he summed it up nicely: “This guy looks like the poor man’s Tom Cruise!” Other things I’ve seen him in: Chopping Mall, Valet Girls, The Allnighter (yes, that same retarded film with singer from the Bangles and Joan Cusack), and the made-for-TV movie about rape, When He’s Not A Stranger.

WATCH: Trailer for Deathstalker II

Leigh McCloskey

This guy was always in some 80s T & A film, always playing a college jock type, or just some guy who always gets laid. He was also in really bad commercials and soap operas. My favorite trash film of his? Definitely Hamburger: The Motion Picture. Its not that I think he’s particularly awesome or anything, but he seems to show up often in garbage films. You may have also seen him in Fraternity Vacation, Just One of the Guys, Dirty Laundry, and of course the many TV shows he’s been on: The Love Boat, Hotel, Dallas, General Hospital, The Young and the Restless, and One Life to Live.

WATCH: 80s Secret deodorant commercial with Leigh McCloskey

Toni Naples

Probably one of the worst actresses I’ve ever seen, but yet, I like her anyway. She plays the very scantily clad “Sultana” from the aforementioned Deathstalker II. She’s so awful that it makes a compelling watch. Other shit I saw her almost naked in: The Turn-On, Transylvania Twist, Sorority House Massacre, Munchie, and Dinosaur Island.

WATCH: Clip of Toni from Deathstalker II

Additional Recommendations

There are a ton of other actors and actresses that I don’t know the names of that seem to show up in the trash I grace my television set with. . . but this short list will do. However, I have included a list of recommended movies for those who want to expand their bad taste beyond Army of Darkness or Toxic Avenger. Enjoy!

1990: Bronx Warriors (trailer)
Curse of the Queerwolf (clip)
Dead Alive (trailer)
Dead End Drive-In (trailer)
Deathstalker 2 (trailer)
Dellamorte Dellamore aka The Cemetery Man (trailer)
Dolemite (trailer)
Escape from the Bronx (clip)
Frankenhooker (trailer)
Ghoulies II (clip)
Ghoulies III: Ghoulies Go to College (trailer)
Hamburger: The Motion Picture (trailer)
Head of the Family (trailer)
Loose Screws (IMDB entry)
Maniac Cop 3 (trailer)
Night of the Comet (trailer)
Private Resort (trailer)
Shark Attack 3: Megalodon (trailer)
Snowballing (trailer)
Street Trash (trailer)
Switchblade Sisters (trailer)
The Messenger (IMDB entry)
The Sex O’Clock News (IMDB entry)
The Stuff (trailer)
Troll 2 (fan video)
Zapped! (trailer)