Top Five Music Scandals Which Never Actually Happened

By Emily Carney

Author’s note: This piece is almost entirely fictionalized. Enjoy.

5. Midge Ure’s Backstage Throwdown With Bob Geldof, 1985

In the 1980s Midge Ure was best known as the lead singer of mope rockers Ultravox, while Bob Geldof was best known as the husband of Paula Yates and a guy who really, really liked money. He also did some philanthropist work. In 1985, both men mobilized their talents for the massive rock concert known as Live Aid.
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Before They Were Big: Gwar, Pop Will Eat Itself, Oingo Boingo

By Christian Lipski

“Before They Were Big” could also be seen as “Before They Sold Out,” or “Before They Got Good,” depending on your point of view. What I really mean is that these albums are from the artists’ earlier days, before what would become their more popular period. In my own personal opinion, these particular records are some of my favorites from the artists. While I don’t begrudge any band the opportunity to become successful and evolve one’s style, I do like having their earlier stuff around.
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These Are My Salad Days: Spandau Ballet On YouTube

By Less Lee Moore

You can’t step twice into the same YouTube river. The channel has undergone enormous transformations since its debut. In just the last few years, there have been heated disputes over copyright in the US and the UK, embarrassing incidents of corporate confusion, and irate fans who rejoice in finding long-loved-and-lost videos only to be crushed when those videos are removed for various reasons.

Thankfully, many bands have stepped up (with apparent legal muscle as well as capital) and created their own Official YouTube channels. This issue we’ll be profiling the Official Spandau Ballet YouTube channel.
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Escape With the Runaways

By Todd A. Brownlie

Stepping into a comic book series can be confusing and frustrating for most newcomers. Big name heroes, like the X-Men and Captain America, have been around for decades, with story arcs and characters so fleshed-out, it requires constant research into their past history. Maybe it’s the lack of dialogue or even a thin, uninspired plot in a series that will instantly cause you to set the issue down and just walk away.
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Top Five Ideas For Life After The Swineflu Apocalypse (As Gleaned From ’80s Music Videos)

By Hanna

1. In the future, David Bowie will flirt with black men and we will do experimental dance. ALL DAY.

David Bowie, “Time Will Crawl” (1987)

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Conway Twitty, Lost In The Feeling

By Danny R. Phillips

Growing up in a family of country music fanatics I have always been quite aware of the legendary status surrounding one Mr. Conway Twitty. His classic country “slow jams” have been favorites of cover bands, drunken karaoke singers, and honky tonk jukeboxes from Lubbock, Texas to Osaka, Japan.
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My Life in Fishnets: A Personal Rocky Horror Story

By Christian Lipski

It’s amazing to look back and really see how much of my life was dedicated to The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I’m sure it’s the same for people who were really into sports or D&D or any other life-consuming hobby. At the time, though, it was just Rocky, and that was it. It was just what I did.
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B.B. King, Live In Africa ’74 DVD

By Adam McIntyre

If pressed about my blues preferences, influences, or interests, I’ll stammer for a moment, name some greats, and whatever single, obscure guitarist I can vaguely pluck from my past to show that maybe we have common interests, and that I’ve educated myself a little deeper than your average blues wanker.

It’s much simpler, actually, than naming a few names once I think about it; I’m mostly a blues racist and an elitist. Oops, yeah, did I just call myself a blues racist? That’s weird, definitely, but here’s the deal: I stopped playing blues because I became increasingly self-conscious about coming across as some angsty white kid in a tie, absentmindedly regurgitating legitimately black licks.
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Top Things I Hate, That Everyone Else Seems To Like!

By Ann Clarke

Sure, I got this idea from all of the redundant questionnaires on Facebook that I fill out, but it got me thinking. . . there are a lot of bad ideas out there that are overrated and stupid, but large masses of people seem to think they are so great. What are they seeing or hearing that I’m not? Most of the time I am in disbelief as to how people can enjoy certain things, but it really is one of those “to each their own” ideologies! With that said, I’ve compiled a big list of what I think is SHIT, and I don’t mean “The Shit”. . . just SHIT! Some of the items are similar in theory, so I will have to merge some into subcategories.
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Top Five Post-Neutral Milk Hotel Bands

By Chelsea Spear

If In the Aeroplane Over the Sea were a child, that child would be entering middle school right now. That the landmark album turned eleven in February of this year is a bit unbelievable. It certainly doesn’t sound as though it’s been around for that long. Some of the album’s elements, like its tarnished brass-band arrangements and intoxicating, passionate vision sounded out of step with the detatched irony of indie rock in 1998, while others—like the evocation of Anne Frank and the rich melodies—were simply timeless.
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