// Category Archive for: Top Five Lists

Top Five Ideas For Life After The Swineflu Apocalypse (As Gleaned From ’80s Music Videos)

By Hanna

1. In the future, David Bowie will flirt with black men and we will do experimental dance. ALL DAY.

David Bowie, “Time Will Crawl” (1987)

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Top Five Post-Neutral Milk Hotel Bands

By Chelsea Spear

If In the Aeroplane Over the Sea were a child, that child would be entering middle school right now. That the landmark album turned eleven in February of this year is a bit unbelievable. It certainly doesn’t sound as though it’s been around for that long. Some of the album’s elements, like its tarnished brass-band arrangements and intoxicating, passionate vision sounded out of step with the detatched irony of indie rock in 1998, while others—like the evocation of Anne Frank and the rich melodies—were simply timeless.
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Top Things I Hate, That Everyone Else Seems To Like!

By Ann Clarke

Sure, I got this idea from all of the redundant questionnaires on Facebook that I fill out, but it got me thinking. . . there are a lot of bad ideas out there that are overrated and stupid, but large masses of people seem to think they are so great. What are they seeing or hearing that I’m not? Most of the time I am in disbelief as to how people can enjoy certain things, but it really is one of those “to each their own” ideologies! With that said, I’ve compiled a big list of what I think is SHIT, and I don’t mean “The Shit”. . . just SHIT! Some of the items are similar in theory, so I will have to merge some into subcategories.
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Top Five Cover Versions That Will Never Happen

By Less Lee Moore

5. INXS, “Some Kind Of Wonderful” by Grand Funk Railroad

I grew weary of the Hutchence/Geldof/Yates love triangle drama in the ’90s, so I wasn’t completely shocked by Michael Hutchence’s death. But when the remaining band members subsequently devised a reality show to find a new lead singer, I was offended on behalf of Hutchence as well as my own ’80s INXS fandom. His voice was sensual and bluesy, yet perfectly poised for pop songs. I didn’t realize how much I missed it until he was gone. Which is why the fact that he’ll never be able to cover “Some Kind Of Wonderful” (or sing and perform ever again, for that matter). makes me so very sad. In addition, INXS was one of the rare bands who utilized saxophone judiciously rather than embarrassingly and that would have been a great asset in a reimagining of this song.
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Top Five Inebriated Concertgoers And How To Deal With Them

By Adam McIntyre

5. The Freebirder

At first it could just be chalked up to “he’s just a drunk redneck who suddenly is jonesing for some Skynyrd” but then Mike Judge popularized the cliché and it became pop culture turned inside out. Man-children, fueled by The One Time They Yelled It At Oak Mountain Ampitheater And The Whole Audience Laughed, undeterred by the nasty incident at Lilith Fair and presently ignorant of the lineup, truly believe that they are part of the night’s entertainment. Oh, but now a hipster is yelling it. Perhaps it’s a step further; he’s being ironic. He would actually hate it if Kasabian played “Freebird,” but two PBRs in and suddenly he has replaced “show us your tits” (the drunk boy mantra of choice in many situations) with a good old “Freeeeebird!” Again, you laughed at him once. This is your fault. He doesn’t own any Skynyrd, but the boys in that legendary southern rock band would agree: you should throw ice (or anything) at him. Extra points for hitting his girlfriend if he has one.
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Do It Again: Cover Versions Which Should Happen

By Emily Carney

5. Billy Joel’s “Big Shot,” performed by Ben Folds

Billy Joel

I have the most beautiful older sister. She related to me that when she was in high school during the 1980s, many famous pop solo artists tended to be older people, like Elton John or Billy Joel. She told me the most hilarious story about a bunch of teenage girls in her gym class shrieking over seeing Billy Joel in concert. I find it hard to believe any teenage girl would get physically excited over seeing Billy Joel live in concert. . . but hey, we all have different tastes.
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The Sepia Tint of Doom: Worst Ideas for Rock Photography

By Emily C.

5. The band wearing way too much leather

Whenever a vulnerable, slightly introverted band wants you to KNOW that they, in fact, mean business and are hardcore as all hell, they are encouraged to bust out the leather jackets and surly looks. The worst offender of this trend is one of my favorite bands, Depeche Mode. In the early 1980s they wore a little bit of leather, but generally their image was that of sensitive synth-poppers who did sweet songs like “See You” and “Just Can’t Get Enough.” Around 1984, their music took a darker turn into the world of bondage and domination (while still remaining its optimistic poppiness—see “Master and Servant”), and all this leather began to appear in their press photographs. By 1990, when Violator exploded into mass popularity, the band really wanted people to know that yes, they were actually total badasses, and would cut you up with a switchblade outside of whatever local Goth club you were hanging out at. Above is one example of Depeche Mode’s leather-induced surliness.

Notice the one member who is not wearing leather, and who therefore was NOT a team player.
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Top Five Most Inadvertently Hilarious Rock Books

By Emily Carney

5. Kraftwerk: I Was A Robot, by Wolfgang Flür (2000)

Wolfgang Flür is best known as being Kraftwerk’s drummer from 1974 to 1991, during their “golden years” when they turned out seminal albums such as Radioactivity (1975) and Trans-Europe Express (1977). This memoir by Flür details his various escapades within the workings of the “Düsseldorf Beatles.”

Flür’s liquored-up memories encompass shameless groupie-guzzling, getting surreally and seriously ill while on tour, and being sexually attacked by an aging alcoholic male German film actor. They climax when Flür is unceremoniously ousted from the band, who have become increasingly obsessed with cycling (to Flür’s utter dismay). Who would have believed the inner workings of Kraftwerk could be so scandalous and sex-soaked? The book was greeted with anger from Kraftwerk’s remaining members, who sued Flür; apparently Ralf Hütter and Florian Schneider were not amused by photographs depicting the Kraftwerk robots in various homosexual activities.
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Popshifter‘s Best Of Lists

Pete Best

Most publications give you their “Best Of” and “Top Ten” lists in their December issues. But what about giving props to of all the great things you embraced in the penultimate month of the year?

That’s why Popshifter has decided to provide you with our favorites now, so that you can add them to your list of “Things To Check Out In 2009.”

In addition to the lists our staff compiled, we’ve also posted the lists from some very special guest contributors.

Enjoy!
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Top Five: TV’s Female Role Models

By Michelle Patterson

I want to lavish praise upon a few of my new favorite strong female role models on the small-screen. More realistic than the perfectly-tousled china dolls of Gossip Girl (although dammit, do I love me some Blair!) and much smarter than the featured bad actress of the week on Supernatural, I’m relieved to know that young girls can and do attempt to be like the women they see on their televisions when these types of characters exist. Ladies who have the required sass and the ability to kick-ass, but who also bring across the most poignant and heart-breaking moments are my favorite kinds. The following are my top five female role models on television.
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