// Category Archive for: Issues

The Accidental Terrorist: Scary Songs Which Aren’t Meant To Be Scary

Idea by Matt Keeley
With contributions by. . .

In our last Halloween issue, we discussed morbid melodies and the music of the scares. But what of songs which horrify us accidentally? Some argue that songwriters who pair dark lyrics and bright melodies know exactly what they’re doing, but what about words and music which cause fright when they were only intended to delight?

For example, a few of our readers noted that “Mama” by Genesis was a bit squicky, but it’s unclear whether that creepiness was intentional or not. However, I think we can all assume that “Beep Beep” by The Playmates was probably not meant to panic small children, although it obviously has, judging on some of the replies we received.

Here are some examples of the various tunes that terrify. . .
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I Was A Teenage Vampire Lover

By Noreen Sobczyk

Nope, it’s not coming to a drive-in near you. Nor is it a juicy tell-all about my steamy copulations with the undead. And truth be told, this one sided love affair lasted well beyond my teens. Yes, it’s true: I’m a vamp-a-holic.

Some people go through a phase where they idolize a rock star. Some become interested in a genre of art and learn its history. Me, I had it bad for the bloodsuckers. It started when I saw a BBC mini series called Count Dracula as a kid, which had me transfixed. I read a few Anne Rice novels, and some Poppy Z. Brite.

Yet when I saw a film called The Hunger my addiction to vampires on television and in film really began. Then my dalliance became a full on obsession (to often hilarious, velvet-clad results). This one-sided romance extended to my music, make-up, and choice of room decor. My paychecks went to purchasing shelves of vampire memorabilia and novels and viewing vampire films.

Like many addicts, I occasionally relapse. So I’ll share a few memories of fondly-remembered vampire loves past, and dish dirt on some of the stinkers.

Angel, 1999 – 2004

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Keeping It Real: Gogol Bordello

By Emily C.

The Ritz, Ybor City (Tampa) FL
July 27, 2009

I trekked out to Ybor City on July 27th to see the Ukrainian “gypsy punk” band Gogol Bordello. Ybor City has a certain reputation among people who live in central Florida. It has always been a hotbed for young hipsters, and it has a fairly high crime rate (seriously, people have been shot at clubs there). As a comparatively elderly person to most of the crowd there, I was quite curious as to how the show would turn out. I hadn’t been down to Ybor City in years, and my interest was piqued.
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Blowfly for Motherfunkin’ President!

By Ann Clarke

Now That’s Class, Cleveland OH
March 14, 2009

Photo © 2009 Julie Finley

Wanna hear something sad? I’ve only been to one concert this year! I love going to concerts, too. I’m usually hired to shoot the live shots for a plethora of them, but every show that has taken a dump through Cleveland has been absolute shit. So shitty, in fact, that I haven’t been motivated to let the shutters go wild. I hate shitty concerts, and that’s all we’ve had in Cleveland since last summer. . . all but the one show I did attend.

That show? Was motherfunkin’ Blowfly! How awesome is that?
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Great Album, Bad Art: The Cars, Candy-O

By Ayan Farah

I’m always embarrassed to admit that I’m a huge fan of the Cars’ 1979 album, Candy-O. Don’t get me wrong; the songs on that record were nothing short of pop perfection. Band members Ric Ocasek, the late Benjamin Orr, Elliot Easton, Greg Hawkes, and David Robinson cultivated a distinct sound combining elements of rockabilly, new wave, and hard rock that set them apart from the countless other emerging bands vying for the spotlight.
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Turn On The Video: Cheap Trick On YouTube

By Less Lee Moore

When I initially became a YouTube addict, Cheap Trick was one of the first bands I searched for there. As fellow addicts know all too well by now, it was quite frustrating being unable to find some of the videos I wanted, and it became more frustrating when the ones I did find disappeared the next day.

But Cheap Trick is one smart band.
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She’s (Not) Just A Woman: Q&A With Clementine, Drummer Extraordinaire

By Jennifer L. Sharpe

Ms. Clementine could be considered one of the music world’s most ardent admirers of Led Zeppelin. While she never experienced the band’s live performances, she recreates drummer John “Bonzo” Bonham’s daunting drum parts every night as a founding member of Zepparella.

Popshifter recently caught up with Clem as she crossed the country on Zepparella’s first US tour.
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Great Expirations: Top Five Deaths Under Suspicious (Or Nefarious) Circumstances

By Emily Carney

5. Jimi Hendrix: Rock star

Manner of death: Victimized by his own vomit

On September 18, 1970, Jimi Hendrix joined the Great Rock Supergroup in the Sky when he died at age 27. It was initially assumed he probably died of a drug overdose, since he was a casual abuser of drugs; suicide was even bandied about as the probable cause of his death. However, the doctor who attended to him at the death scene concluded he had died because his lungs had filled with red wine vomit.
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Patrick Wolf, The Bachelor

By Ann Clarke

Just when I didn’t think young musicians had anything left to offer (because they’re all either fake and talentless or just fashion plate hipsturds), along comes Patrick Wolf. Granted he is fashionable, and has done some modeling for Burberry, but he is quite alluring, and it’s nice work if you can get it! (It definitely helps finance some lucrative projects.) I had first heard Patrick by accident when stumbling upon the video for “The Magic Position,” and was immediately totally addicted. I rarely ever seek out a new artist, but there are times when something grabs you by throat and won’t let go until you give in, and with “The Magic Position,” such was the case.
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XTC: The Never-Ending Obituary

By John Lane

I discovered XTC in a rather roundabout way, circa 1985, when I visited my local record shop (anachronistic now, but communal then). The clerk—a Joe-Cocker-esque fellow with buckteeth and rather woolly sideburns threatening to overtake his face—had put on a record by a band called The Dukes of Stratosphear, which played over the store’s sound system. The opening chords of “What In the World” sent me reeling, and I had to find out what group this was. Said clerk snuffled condescendingly and informed me that this was a “joke album” by a group known as XTC. That’s all I needed to know, and I paid the extra money for this import record, 25 O’Clock.
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