Three Bittersweet Songs to Walk Down the Aisle To

By Jesse Roth

Having hit that stage of my life where just about everyone I know is getting married, I have been somewhat forced to think about the details of my own wedding. From considering possible locations and times of the year, to who does (or does not) get an invite, I have a certain degree of confidence that I know what I want for my “big day” and possibly how to go about it.

This is all despite two very significant facts: (1) I don’t have any semblance of a significant other at the moment and (2) I’m not even sure I want a wedding when I do actually get married. Nevertheless, I am fully prepared when the time comes to plan a cost-effective, fun, reflective-of-me-and-spouse mini-spectacular . . . or just haul ass to the courthouse.

Though the jury is still out for me about about whether or not I want to dance at my wedding, I do know that walking down an aisle is almost unavoidable in most ceremonies, and usually involves some level of melodic noise. Over time, I have come across a few songs that were both beautiful as well as meaningful enough in my own life to warrant usage in a possible aisle journey. Being one of many who soundtrack their significant life moments to particular songs, I have also looked to my treasure trove of music to aid me in this fantastical pursuit. In several cases, however, I stumbled upon some aspect of the song’s history (or the story told in the lyrics) that caused me to wonder if such a sad tale ran counter to the image most of us are trying to project in a wedding environment. Presented are three such songs that I may find myself conveniently misinterpreting on my journey down the aisle:

1. “The Luckiest,” Ben Folds

A somewhat corny but charming ode to Folds’ third bride, Frally Hines, “The Luckiest” was a song that stopped me dead in my tracks the first time I heard it. The tune came to my attention at a time in my life where I was struggling with being single for the first time in several years, wondering if I would ever find myself in the right situation at the right time when it came to love. I would lose myself in the song’s beautifully simple piano arrangement, imagining a moment somewhere in the future when the right person came along and justified my own “wrong turns/stumbles and falls” in the dating world. While the lyrics spoke of a lasting bond, the real life marriage of Ben and Frally would have a different ending. The couple divorced after seven years of marriage.

2. “Tender,” Blur

It certainly does not take a clever person to figure out that this song has little to do with an existing, happy relationship. Damon Albarn’s deeply personal, heart-wrenching lyrics speak of post-breakup pain and the struggle to hold onto the optimism of one day finding love. The song proved to be so emotionally wrought that its subject, former Elastica frontwoman (and former Albarm girlfriend) Justine Frishmann, cried when she first heard it. Despite its depressing story, the song’s slow build and somewhat bombastic gospel-style singers in the chorus make for a stunning tune, one I once deemed perfect for a trip down the aisle. After all, if read in a different pretense, the first verse could easily speak of someone you are completely enraptured with, someone to “make the demons go away”. In the same light, the pleading chorus of “come on, come on, come on/get through this . . . love’s the greatest thing that we have” could be a nervous bride or groom playing mental games before walking down the aisle, justifying their decision to go through with a wedding even when irrational doubts start to erode the joy.

3. “Ottoman,” Vampire Weekend (from the Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist soundtrack)

Classical music is practically a staple of the traditional Western weddings many of us have attended. The genre’s influence was also quite apparent in the initial output of Vampire Weekend, with “Ottoman” using it to its greatest potential. The song’s melody engulfed me upon first hearing it; its use of string instruments (particularly the harpsichord) causing me to envision a young bride and groom in love and taking the plunge. The references in the lyrics to “six bells-a-ringing and white women singing” and “all of the cards and all of the time it took” do seem to hearken back to a wedding, though closer inspection of the lyrics reveals that not all are feeling particularly joyous about the occasion. The song’s narrator speaks of his discomfort as he attempts to participate in a higher social class, posing for formal paintings and lamenting the rather elegant yet droll surroundings of their big day. Despite all the discomforts, however, he still pines for his love, hoping to steal moments amongst the madness of an event not always representative of both parties involved in the union.