Best Of 2014: Jeffery X Martin

True Detective

This was a shit year. It’s hard to find a “best” thing about a terrible time frame, so it’s no surprise that my Best Of list is exceeding dark. We are the times, and times is hard, Missus Lovett. But my choices, all of them, provide small glimmers of hope, muted rays within the coal dust, a little something to grab for. In a year like 2014, it’s the best I can do.

BEST ALBUM OF 2014: Clipping, CLPPNG
Harsh noise and hardcore rap slide together with the grace of a train hitting an old Airstream trailer, screeching metal and breaking glass, horrible street stories ensconced in fluid poetry. This is no ghetto fab glorification of thug life; MC Daveed Diggs spins tales of fear and desperate living while producers William Hutson and Jonathan Snipes push the listenable limits of music and sound past the extreme. For example: what’s the worst sound in the world? Easy. An alarm clock. So why not base an entire song on nothing but that horrible electronic bleating sound? Flashes of rude genius like that permeate the album. It is a painful brilliance that burns the ears and engages the mind.

BEST MOVIE OF 2014: The Editor, dir. Adam Brooks & Matthew Kennedy
It’s kind of annoying that most people won’t be able to see this movie until 2015, but since The Editor was technically released in 2014, it counts. It may be next year’s best movie, too. This trippy neo-giallo, centered around a film editor with wooden hands, is a strange spiritual cousin to last year’s giallo tribute, Berberian Sound Studio. On the surface, The Editor is a comedy that exploits and expands all the tropes and tricks of Italian horror movies at ludicrous speed. It also pulls off the almost unfathomable trick of becoming what it mocks and working as the subject of its own jokes. Badly dubbed, filled with violence and horrific fashions, The Editor works seamlessly on every conceivable level, ending up as the most complete and satisfying film of 2014.

HOTTEST TREND OF 2014: Being a white guy
2014 was the best possible year to be a White American Male. In the last twelve months, we’ve learned that it’s OK for white cops to kill black people just for being black. White guys can also harass female gamers and game developers online, threaten them with rape and death, and no one will do a thing about it! Oh, and don’t go to your politicians for help, especially if you’re a woman. White guys can just legislate your rights out of existence. In fact, there’s nothing white guys can’t do! They’re like magic.

BEST BOOK OF 2014: Gristle & Bone by Duncan Ralston
Anthologies are the hot new old thing. Witness the popularity of the V/H/S film series and the BBC series, Black Mirror. Readers searching for that same kind of smorgasbord experience should look no further than Duncan Ralston’s collection of horror fiction, Gristle & Bone. From a bad restaurant to a cult of dumpster divers to a romance that leads to the end of the world, Ralston’s imagination is a bullet train to the Ninth Circle of Hell. Literary and plausible, all the stories remain firmly grounded in reality, which makes them even scarier. The first story of the collection, “Baby Teeth,” made me wince, stop reading, and collect myself. It’s a bar-raising achievement.

BEST TELEVISION SERIES OF 2014 AND POSSIBLY EVER: True Detective
My gods, what can’t HBO do? True Detective is a milestone, a compulsively watchable Southern Gothic fever dream filled with primal images and brutish desires. It’s also an acting showcase for Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey, who play off each other like dark light on water. Bitch about the ending all you want; this show looked into the utter blackness of the human heart and did not flinch or bat an eyelash. It’s not the easiest thing to watch, but it’s necessary.