DVD Review: Jungle Blue

By Brad Henderson

Whenever I get mail from Vinegar Syndrome I hold my breath while I open it because I have no idea what I’m getting myself into. Recently I acquired Jungle Blue and holywhatthefuckohmygodwhatthefuck! I still don’t have a clue what I watched. I’ve seen a number of vintage hardcore pornos in the past couple months and I have never seen anything like this.

“I took one look at evil and my pussy got wet, I hope it doesn’t show.”

I’m not sure how many pornos have stories or plots but I don’t think it is ever been this bad. By bad, I mean one of the best things I’ve ever seen. We open with a woman performing fellatio on a man in a monkey suit for about 15 seconds and then our credits roll. We are shown the poster for the film in place of our actual credits, which is completely bizarre. Some people do drugs and then they have sex throughout the film while we continue with our “story.”

Another thing that is a little disturbing is that there are a lot of random scenes where there are just random men ejaculating on women. It seems that they got the locals in Peru to have sex with the women in order to skip fees for the hotel and travel accommodations. You can tell that they are locals because they are nervous as hell and the film avoids showing their faces at all.

We have something like a plot because a girl is looking for some kind of jungle man to have sex with. I guess it’s supposed to be some kind of spin on Tarzan or something. We also see monkey penis, which is fucking weird as hell, but it happens. About 37 minutes into the film our lady who wants to fuck Tarzan gets to do so but it is very awkward. Our Tarzan who lives out in the jungle obviously has sunburn, which makes no sense at all. He needs to have gentle sex because he doesn’t like rough sex. There are so many strange pieces of dialogue and editing choices, and every line delivered is totally screwed up but it makes the film even better.

“Do it for me, do it gentle.”

There are also peculiar sounds throughout the film and I’m still confused whether or not they are human sounds. In the film we have our porno happening with lots of penetration and sex but every time people start having sex there is an abrupt cut to what looks like B-roll from a nature show with apes in the wild. Yes, it looks like stuff from National Geographic spliced in with people having sex! How awkward is that?!? We see ape penis and apes playing with themselves. It’s unsettling for me to watch and I imagine it was terrifying for the viewer back in the day who was trying to touch himself while watching a porno that switched to a gorilla playing with his junk.

“He isn’t a super human, but he is a super fuck.”

Real talk: They also used a real tribe during a portion of the filming of Jungle Blue and I highly doubt the tribe knew they were being used in this film. There are also plenty of kids throughout the film and even a couple shots of naked children. The children are not, in any way, shape, or form, being used in an exploitative way, but it is unusual because it seems that this is half porno and half of some lost Nat Geo episode. I just find it a little disrespectful on the filmmakers’ part. I know it adds production value but that shouldn’t matter when it comes to shit like this.

Oh shit! The plot was revealed! They are after jewels!!! Wait . . . jewels? I haven’t seen one jewel through this entire film. Did I mention that I’m writing this while I’m watching it? I’m writing this while I’m watching it because it’s way more fun than a straight review of a porno. Uh oh. Rape just happened. Don’t worry; it was quick. It doesn’t make any sense, but oh well.

I’m glad there is a company who is bringing this stuff back from the dead because—and a penis was just bitten. . . ew—they truly care about preserving films like this. A film like Jungle Blue would have certainly been lost and never seen or heard from again if it wasn’t for Vinegar Syndrome. I don’t see how this film was successful critically or financially because it would totally turn off the porno audience. I’m not sure on how many people want to watch a porno spliced with apes masturbating.

Vinegar Syndrome did one hell of a job with this transfer, though. That pretty much goes without saying, but I’m just confused as to the intended audience for this one. If you made it this far into the review, you need to watch Jungle Blue and see this work of art for yourselves.

Jungle Blue was released on DVD from Vinegar Syndrome on May 13.