TV Review: Lucha Underground, S2 E04, “Cero Miedo”

By Sachin Hingoo

Well hello again, believers! This is a big week on Lucha Underground as Joey Ryan debuts in the Temple and Prince Puma faces Pentagón Jr. in the main event. We get a recap of Pentagón Jr. snapping Mil Muertes’ arm on the premiere before…

Ivelisse busts into Catrina’s office without knocking or anything! Catrina says she should be thanking Muertes for his mercy, but Ivelisse asks for a match against the Disciples of Death tonight. Catrina says that before she, Havoc, and Angelico get a rematch for the Trios titles, they have to prove themselves against a new team: Chavo Guerrero and The Crew. Ivelisse accepts before saying she’s after Catrina next, and there’ll be no mercy. Catrina licks a letter opener in what I think is supposed to be a seductive fashion but all I can think is that I really hope she washes that thing regularly.

WHOMP WHOMP

Angelico, Ivelisse, and Son of Havoc have their match with Chavo and the Crew. Chavo Guerrero is part of the famous Guerrero wrestling family, but in Lucha Underground’s universe he’s a filthy turncoat (he has, over the course of Season One, betrayed Blue Demon, Sexy Star, Black Lotus, and Texano) that’s hated by almost everyone. The Crew were Dario Cueto’s goons during Season One and used to have three members–Cortez Castro (who we recently learned is an undercover cop), Bael, and Mr. Cisco–but in a moment of frustration, Dario fed Bael to his people-eating brother, Matanza.

The trios match is pretty good, and features some ridiculous dives from Angelico–one of which picks up the victory for himself, Havoc, and Ivelisse. After the match there’s some obvious tension between Chavo, Cortez, and Cisco, when Texano (the cowboy luchador from last week’s vignette) runs in to beat everyone up with his rope and to run Chavo off.

Pretty man Johnny Mundo is making grandiose statements about how he hasn’t been treated as a big enough star, and that he made Lucha Underground what it is. He says that Cage is standing between him and the title, and that he’ll make the Machine obsolete. This is all interspersed with footage of Mundo doing flying kicks and sparring while looking very pretty doing so. Mundo says that it’s his world, and we’re all living in it.

Cortez is nursing his wounds from the trios battle earlier, when Joey Ryan walks up, sucking on his lollipop. Joey calls him “Reyes” (his “actual” name outside the Temple, since he’s undercover) and messes with him about not getting the job done against Havoc, Angelico, and Ivelisse while jabbing him in his injured shoulder. Ryan says that he’s going to do a better job of convincing the Believers in the Temple that he’s a luchador because he’s a better cop. Cortez gets pissed and wants to fight, but Joey reminds him that they’re on the same side.

Joey Ryan’s debut is next. He’s a sleazy 1970s porn guy, and he rubs baby oil on himself before pouring a little down his trunks. This seems about as uncomfortable to wrestle in as it is to watch.

Uh oh. Joey’s opponent is Cage, and if you haven’t heard, he’s a machine. Joey gets some offense in here but come on, Cage is a sentient pile of muscles. He wrecks Joey with a piledriver for the win and is almost immediately attacked by Johnny Mundo. Mundo goes for a springboard and Cage just slaps him to the mat and hits him with his Weapon X finisher. Then he stands over Mundo and says he’s, you guessed it, a machine. This was a fun match but Mundo’s failed attack doesn’t really make him out to be much of a threat to Cage, and it overshadowed Joey’s debut a little. Holding off this attack for a week probably would’ve been a better idea than doing it right away.

This segment is as nuts as any lucha libre B-movie I’ve ever seen. Rey Mysterio and Dragon Azteca Jr. are training in a vignette reminiscent of the Morpheus/Neo fight in the first and only Matrix movie, and Rey tells Azteca the story of the Seven Tribes (this is loosely based on actual Aztec mythology). 25 years ago, Dario’s father met with Dragon Azteca Sr. to try to get the Seven Tribes together to do battle in one-on-one contests, I guess as a way to prevent all-out war among them. But Dario’s dad sacrificed his son Matanza to the gods, letting a god inhabit his body. Azteca and Cueto Sr. vowed never to enter each other’s domain again. Cueto apparently sealed this treaty with dark magic and I have no idea what that means, but Rey and Azteca Jr. are going to try to reunite the Seven Tribes once again.

Pentagón and Puma have a very cool match in the main event where, surprisingly, the crowd is way more supportive of Pentagón than Puma, loudly chanting “CERO MIEDO” (“no fear”), despite Puma being the most popular guy on the show until now. The end of the match has both Pentagón and Puma with their shoulders down for a pin, but Puma’s shoulder comes up at the last minute so Pentagón takes the loss. Pentagón is furious and kicks the ref right in the face before Puma grabs his arm and is about to break it with Pentagón’s own move. Muertes stands up from the Bone Throne, seemingly in hopes that Puma will snap the arm, but Puma lets Pentagón go, humiliating him in the process. Pentagón and Muertes stare down Puma, both furious for different reasons and Vampiro, Pentagón’s mentor, just looks sad. This was a really exciting match with a finish that furthers the Puma/Pentagón/Muertes hate triangle.

After the credits, we see Sexy Star running down a hallway, having escaped Marty the Moth’s clutches. She runs into Willie Mack, who asks her who did this to her. When Star says “…m…m..MOTH” he says he’s going after Marty, but Star says “not HIM… HER!” and points offscreen, presumably to Marty’s sister. I’m not really sure what Mack has to do with any of this but his facial expressions are amazing.

Especially for fans of buff, oily men, this was another good episode that strikes a nice balance between wrestling action and story, and we’re finally getting into the elaborate mythology behind Lucha Underground here. More than most shows, wrestling or not, Lucha has really put some time and thought into world-building as well as character-building, and I think it pays off in spades when you have such absurd shit going on in every episode. No matter how crazy things get, I can always buy in since the consistently absurd Lucha Underground universe is a place I feel sorry to leave every single week.

Cero miedo, my friends.