Blu-Ray Review: Pieces

By Jeffery X Martin

Horror fans have known for decades that there is no other movie quite as delightfully crazy banana-pants as Pieces. With the infamous tagline, “You don’t have to go to Texas for a chainsaw massacre,” Pieces honestly attempts to be a straight-ahead horror film. It’s not.

Pieces is an attempt to make the ultimate slasher by working every single genre trope into one film. Do you need a killer whose rampage is fueled by a deep-seeded sexual childhood trauma? Check. Female nudity? Oh, yeah. (This is what they used to call in the 1970s a “jigglefest.”) How about chainsaws? Do you like those? Boy, is this the movie for you.

As the chainsaw killer hacks his way across the campus of a college somewhere in America, the police are brought in to investigate. Christopher George mumbles and chomps his cigar. Lynda Day goes undercover to enter the college population as a tennis instructor. Frank Braña skulks about with his great head of white hair, doing endless amounts of research. For no intelligent reason, the cops decide to let one of the students help with the case. His name is Kendall and, as played by Ian Cera, he is so inept they would have kicked him out of The Red Hand Gang.

Who is the killer? Who cares? There’s so much other wacky stuff going on, the mystery aspect of it falls by the wayside. Pieces is like a Dr. Suess of chainsaw movies.

Chainsaws in elevators! Chainsaws in locker rooms! Chainsaws on waterbeds and flurpity zoob-zooms!

Almost everyone who seen Pieces has a favorite bit of nonsense. Mine involves the sudden appearance of a judo instructor who makes everything weird for about five minutes, then is never seen again. It doesn’t further the story,; it doesn’t do anything but make the viewer shake his head in wonder. It’s exactly stuff like that which makes this movie such a joy; it has no sense of self.

The best way to see it is the fabulous Grindhouse Releasing three-disc set. You’ll get the Blu-Ray (which has two versions of the film and is crisper than fresh corn). You’ll get a whole disc of extras, including the documentary, 42nd Street Memories, which recounts the Grindhouse Era with interviews by those who remember it best. That documentary alone is worth the price of the set. There’s also a CD, containing the soundtrack, which has been unfairly overlooked throughout horror history.

There’s also a jigsaw puzzle and an informative booklet in some editions. The packaging for the film has set the Internet abuzz with its awesomeness. Believe the hype; this is the definitive set for Pieces, but don’t forget the ridiculous joys of the movie itself. You’ll see something new each time you watch it. It may not be a thing that makes sense, but you’ll find something.

Grindhouse has made an early strike for Blu-Ray of the Year with Pieces. It’s a gorgeous set for a goofy movie, one that deserves all the love it can handle.

Pieces was released by Grindhouse Releasing on February 16.