Best Of 2015: Jeffery X Martin

By Jeffery X Martin

When you compare and contrast 2015 with other years, it really wasn’t half bad. It was a great year for movies, an absolutely stellar year for music, and television reached new heights of creativity and watchability. Sure, there were some celebrity deaths that shook me to the core (these are still hard times, Dream), but there wasn’t a whole lot to complain about in 2015, except how difficult it was to choose the best things of it.

So let’s start with the movies, shall we? In ascending order, please, Maestro.

Top Five Movies of the Year

What We Do in the Shadows: This New Zealand mockumentary about the lives of vampires, werewolves, and other creatures of the night is brilliant, hilarious, and touching. This movie says more than the last three X-Men movies about being an outcast, and has a bloody great time doing it.

Bone Tomahawk: This horror/Western is truly the best of both genres. As a Western. it feels authentic and dusty, with dialogue that crackles. As a horror, not only is there incredible tension, but this movie packs the gross-out of the year. All this and Kurt Russell, too? Not to be missed.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens: Really, we’re all just glad the movie doesn’t flat out suck. But really, this is the first Star Wars movie that really feels like a war movie. It deals with the emotional and physical fallout from the battles of the original trilogy and does so with a sure yet delicate hand. If you’re an old-school fan, though, prepare to shed tears. So many tears.

Cooties: Well, we all knew chicken nuggets weren’t exactly food. When a grade-schooler eats a bad nug, she turns into a flesh-eating monster who quickly turns the rest of the kids against the teaching staff. Elijah Wood, Rainn Wilson, and Leigh Whannell lead a great cast in this hilarious pseudo-zombie flick filled with one-liners and bloodletting.

Mad Max: Fury Road: Dialogue? Who needs it? You need action, not words, and the fourth Mad Max has it in spades. A visual poem, with incredible stunts and an undeniable symmetry, Mad Max: Fury Road is the closest thing to a perfect film I’ve ever seen. It’s a kick in the face and a tug on the feels.

Top Five Albums of the Year

Iron Maiden, The Book of Souls: Iron Maiden releases a bombastic double album with more anthems than Opening Night at the Olympics. Bruce Dickinson’s voice and Steve Harris’s patented galloping bass combine to make something designed to crush epics with its own epicness. It succeeds.

Failure, The Heart is a Monster: Failure returns from an almost 20-year long hiatus with a space-rock masterpiece. Dissonant and distant, this music will steal your heart and haunt your fear-addled brain.

Duran Duran, Paper Gods: The Wild Boys may have gotten older, but I’m not sure if they’ve realized it. Although tracks like “You Kill Me with Silence” and the title track, “Paper Gods,” are excellent songs that show 30 years of growth and maturity, “Danceophobia” and lead-off single, “Pressure Off,” make it feel like 1985 all over again.

Wire, Wire: Art-rock, new wave, and post-modern chill meet on Wire’s eponymous release, resulting in catchy dark pop at its most stripped down and dangerous. It’s an essential for Wire fans and the perfect jumping-in point for people who need to be Wire fans.

John Carpenter, Lost Themes: As good as those other albums are, there’s not even a contest. Carpenter has been scoring his own films for decades. His first original album is a journey to the dark side, frightening and evocative, filled with familiar tones inside new melodies. Richly nuanced and endlessly fascinating, Lost Themes was the best album I found all year.

Best Wrestling Match of the Year

Sasha Banks vs. Bayley at NXT Brooklyn: The follow-up match may have gotten more publicity, but the pure storytelling of babyface Bayley challenging evil Sasha “The Boss” Banks for her Women’s Title in this bout was unparalleled. The action was back and forth, the tension unbearable, and at the end, the joy was contagious. This is the match that reminded fans why they watch. It may also be the right match to show those who scoff why NXT is the best wrestling out there.

Best Show on Netflix You’re (Probably) Not Watching

Longmire: This unfairly gets filed in with Shows Your Grandparents Watch Before Falling Asleep During the Eleven O’Clock Local News. It’s a tightly written crime drama set out by the reservations. Native American and Caucasian relationships are strained, yet the whole show is infused with hefty doses of Native spirituality. Grounded by earthy performances by Robert Taylor, Katee Sackhoff, and Lou Diamond Phillips, this is one of Netflix’s best examples of television that shouldn’t be missed. Bring on the new season!

Best Blu-Ray Release of the Year

Arrow Video’s reissue of Island of Death: There’s no other way to say it: this movie is fucking nuts. It’s mental. It’s offensive in every single sense of the word. It’s also compulsively watchable, even if you hate yourself for it. The Blu-Ray is a gorgeous transfer, allowing you to see every detail of the despicable acts portrayed. Don’t miss the special features, including a documentary of director Nico Mastorakis revisiting the Greek island of Mykonos, where the movie was filmed. Hilarious, absurd, mortifying, Island of Death is all these things and more. Or less. Depends on your point of view.