DVD Review: Hot & Saucy Pizza Girls

By Brad Henderson

Hot & Saucy Pizza Girls has taught me two things: Bob Chinn is a great porno director and Desireé Cousteau exists and she is gorgeous.

Vinegar Syndrome knocks it out of the park with their vintage hardcore pornography line because they are releasing some truly interesting films. Yes, it is porn (like I always say), but the stories behind them are tremendously captivating.

Hot & Saucy Pizza Girls is a comedy and it is actually funny. It is nice to watch these films and be entertained by something other than the penetration. For a pornographic film, this is some quality stuff. I like how nothing looks fake in the environment. That’s one thing that I hate about how pornography has changed: offices in pornos back in the day were legit-looking and probably real. An “office” in porno these days is a desk in a room with papers, pencils, and a phone. Hot & Saucy Pizza Girls appears to have been filmed in a real restaurant, which I thought was hilarious.

There is even a scene where John Holmes and Desireé Cousteau make it on one of those kid pony rides. (You know, the ones in front of stores from back in the day that just went up and down? Yeah, those.) Looking back it was kind of fucked up because if that was a real restaurant I hope they cleaned it pretty well. Oh well, way too late to have a political discussion about it.

Everything about this film is great except the sex scenes. They are weird and it seems that no one is into it whatsoever, so they are actually kind of annoying. The only sexy time scene that works is the one with Holmes and Cousteau, but that happens in the very beginning. Luckily, we have a comedy on our hands to distract us.

What I really dug about this film was that it was like a plot from a 1980s sex comedy: a restaurant that delivers pizza and sexual favors depending on what you ask for on your pizza. In addition to all the sexy activities that are happening, two competing chicken restaurants are scheming to put the Pizza Girls out of business. The only way to save the business is more sexy time!

Of course, since this is a Vinegar Syndrome release, the DVD transfer is pristine and looks fantastic. The only special feature is an interview with the producer that is decent but a little dull. It does shed some new light on the film, but other than that it doesn’t do much.

Even though I’m new to hardcore vintage porn, I’m digging Bob Chinn’s work and I’m really looking forward to seeing his other films. I’m stoked that Vinegar Syndrome has opened my eyes to something I would never look into myself and has turned me on (not literally) to an interesting cinematic history.

Let’s not forget Desireé Cousteau. . . Holy crap. This woman is so gorgeous. I’ve read that she dominated the industry for a little bit and then disappeared and was never heard from again. There is a solid rumor that she went to school to be a psychologist and now practices in Georgia. There are some others about her having a mental breakdown and even one where she committed suicide, but they are throwaway rumors. She is on my radar for sure. Vinegar Syndrome is releasing Pretty Peaches on Blu-ray next month, which was her big debut in the industry, so I’m looking forward to seeing that one for sure.

Man, I sound like a pervert but oh well . . .

Hot & Saucy Pizza Girls was released by Vinegar Syndrome on October 7.