Blu-Ray Review: Death Bed: The Bed That Eats

By Brad Henderson

Breakfast
Should one try to understand Death Bed: The Bed That Eats? No. Should one watch Death Bed: The Bed That Eats? Yes.

Lunch
Cult Epics is a company that’s small but killing it with their releases. They specialize in horror, the weird, and the occasional porno but they are hardcore about the quality of their releases. Even though Death Bed: The Bed That Eats might be one of the worst films you will ever see it is still funny as hell and batshit freaking nuts.

Death Bed was made in the ’70s but apparently the director “forgot” the film and it wasn’t officially released until the early 2000s. Yeah, I’m not sure what kind of drugs he was on during the making of this movie and after it was finished but I imagine it was some heavy shit. There was a bootleg that was traveling the depths of the Internet and among festivals and when the director noticed this film was getting some cult love, it was finally released. I didn’t even know about it until I heard Patton Oswalt joke about it during the Comedians Of Comedy tour. He brought it up saying it inspired him to write a film called Rape Stove: The Stove That Rapes People. After I heard this bit I immediately tracked the movie down and could not believe that it actually existed. Shit, I’ve seen two films about killer refrigerators and still couldn’t believe a bed was killing people in this film.

Dinner
I could go on about the plot of the film but it can’t be explained in a way that the human mind can understand. This is something that needs to be seen and consumed so people can believe it. Death Bed is literally about a bed that eats people. No shit, right? Well, that is basically all the film is, though . . . It is a feature length film about people walking into this castle door bullshit and lying down in a bed that fucking kills you. Also, this bed just doesn’t kill you; it fucking eats you . . . alive. It even makes a crunching sound while it nibbles on your remains. That is why it is extremely difficult for me to believe that the director “forgot” that he made something like this.

Dessert
Even though Death Bed is in 4:3 aspect ratio, it still looks and sounds really good. Cult Epics probably cleaned it up as much as they could but they kept the original look of it. If they did it any other way it would have looked like crap because this film is meant to look gritty and dirty and they kept it that way. The special features are quite amazing because they actually have a small doc with the director and composer of the film’s score. They talk about the film and go back to its Detroit filming location to discuss their moments on set and reminisce about the crazy things they did in the 1970s.

So, if you are brave enough to step into the weird realm where a film like this exists, I suggest you get on Death Bed immediately. To this day I can’t believe it exists and I’ve seen some weird shit in my lifetime.

Death Bed: The Bed That Eats was released from Cult Epics on June 3.