Book Review: Zombie Eye For The Living Guy: Look Undead, Cook Undead, Dress Undead, and Live Undead

By Jemiah Jefferson

In a world where The Walking Dead is one of the most successful TV programs on the air, where politics shambles on brainlessly, and it seems that the end times are nigh, why wouldn’t you want to dress like it’s Halloween? If you live for the absurd and obscene, there is at last a lifestyle book for you and your peers. This black-hearted parody of the best-selling Queer Eye for the Straight Guy tie-in books brings an undead perspective to the perennial challenge of living well, looking good—or, in this case, horrible&mdash’and being exactly the decaying, mindless flesh eater you’ve always wanted to be.

For those who have read the Queer Eye book, the parody is dead-on and hilarious. With sections titled such things as “Inner Preparations,” “Should I Eat Human Brains?” and “Social Skills,” every aspect of the gruesome, yet satisfying world of being a walking abomination is addressed with wit, variety, and a very silly thoroughness. Yet this is not just a point-by-point parody; Zombie Eye also contains quite a few pointers to enrich and enliven (so to speak) any good zombie costume for those still breathing.

This book explains how best to stagger, lurch, and groan in eternal agony, what tattered garments to put on, and how to woo a fellow undead or even a living victim. With inspired photographs by New York-based gadabout Alex Colby, there are many looks and poses to inspire you to run away and join a horde, and when you entertain your new sickeningly decayed friends, there are recipes so that you’ll know what to make them. (Hint: chips and salsa is not going to cut it.)

This is the ultimate hilarious Halloween guide that works at all times of the year, but is most essential in the dark weeks of October as costume parties leap out of nowhere and latch onto your neck, trying to disembowel you. Instead of shrieking and running away—besides, you know that won’t work; they can’t be killed, they just keep coming—stir up some Karo syrup, ketchup, and red food coloring, paint an exit wound on your chest, and practice your shambling.

There’s a whole lifestyle out there waiting for you and your friends, and you might find that it’s so much fun that you find yourself organizing your own mass zombie walks that can happen at any time, not just Halloween. It is particularly fun on Election Day, Oscar night, or during Girl Scout Cookie season.

Zombie Eye for the Living Guy is published by Marion Street Press and is available to purchase from their website.