A Riot Of One’s Own: Women & Guitar Culture

By Kai Shuart

OK now, I’m gonna spout off about something very, very near and dear to my heart. Since I was about thirteen, I have loved guitars. I own a few. I play them. I find them sexy. You want to really see me geek out? Get me in a Guitar Center. I’ve been told I drool. Yet, while I have worshiped guitars from a very early age, there has been something I don’t worship: Guitar culture.

Every so often I’ll go off to Guitarworld.com or another site to see what’s happening in the world of lovelies, and what do I see? Daisy de la Hoya doing video of a cover shoot for Guitar World. She’s wearing practically nothing, guitar between her legs. Now, apparently, Ms. de la Hoya is a musician. And that’s great. Awesome But if she is a musician, why not use footage of her playing to endorse the instrument? Why does the guitar need to be in her crotch rather than in her hands where it belongs?

Joan Jett

What’s worse is when I look and see women who don’t even play, such as this Guitar World cover from a few years back, featuring Hugh Hefner’s ex-girlfriends. That makes my blood boil to an insane degree. Out of all the great, cool female guitar and/or bass players I could name—Bonnie Raitt (an OG Stratslinger if there ever was one), Jennifer Batten, Nancy Wilson, Joan Jett, Kim Deal, Kim Gordon, Lita Ford, Carrie Brownstein, Tina Weymouth, Melissa Auf der Maur, Chrissie Hynde—the only female cover personalities they could come up with are only there because they’re a hot accessory? They can do so much better than having a half-naked woman appearing to practically jerk off the neck of the guitar.

You may think I’m being a big party pooper, but I truly think it’s stuff like this that keeps female rock musicians from being taken as seriously as their male counterparts. Look at Rolling Stone‘s 100 Greatest Guitarists of All Time and tell me it isn’t so. Are you seriously telling me that out of 100 people like Page, Hendrix, and Clapton, there are fewer than ten people like Raitt, Ford, Wilson, and Brownstein?

This male-dominated atmosphere keeps women from wanting to play. Growing up, I got patronized by the dudes behind the counter, I got The Sneer from guys in bands who thought I was some groupie. Luckily I have my mother’s mouth which allows me to tell these people where to get off. But what about the quiet girl who’s just in getting her strings? Does she need to be asked “What kind does your boyfriend use?” the moment she walks in the store door? Does she really need “Do you play guitar?” when carrying her instrument on public transit? To be honest, someone asked me that very question a few months back when I was carrying Blackbird (Yes I name my instruments. What?), my Takamine Santa Fe, on the train. He got a sarcastic “No, I carry it for my health” from yours truly, because I know that if I were a guy, it wouldn’t even be a Thing and he’d just assume I play.

Here’s a hint to the people who sell guitars. If you get a female guitarist to endorse your instrument, actually feature her doing what she does best: playing the guitar. That way, girls will be inspired to take up a wonderful instrument in an environment where they feel comfortable walking into music shops. And they will buy your guitars because you featured someone Just Like They Want To Be in the ad. And the girl will be happy and you will make money.

Call me crazy, but it just may work. If you want me to solve any other problems, I’ll be in the other room listening to Sleater-Kinney’s “#1 Must-Have” . . .