The Remakening: Movies That Should Be Remade
Published on March 30th, 2010 in: Movies, Retrovirus |Intro by Less Lee Moore
A February article on Horrornews.net proposed a list of 13 movies that need to be remade. While I didn’t agree with all of the films listed, it got me thinking.
Whenever a remake is announced, there is always the inevitable onslaught of whining and complaining that lightning doesn’t strike twice. But certainly there must exist movies that could (and even should) be remade, if that flash was more of a fizzle. The originals might have been good, but could they transform into great with a well-crafted and well–cast remake? And if the originals weren’t so good, is there a spark of greatness in them that could be more fully electrified with a remake?
Here are a few films that sparked the creative imaginations of Popshifter writers and readers. . .
Bummer, 1973
The trailer for this was AMAZING à la Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, but the script and movie were both HORRIBLE. However, it’s not a movie that should be updated in the manner of making it contemporary; it should still be set in the ’70s, just totally rewritten. I can’t think of a director around in this day and age who really gets that genre, except maybe Dave Markey. I’d opt for a cast of unknowns.
—Jon Krop
Star Wars, 1977
I know this is going to make eyes bug out, but hear me out before you throw those rocks. I’m not saying Star Wars was bad, I’m saying that I’d like to see a different point of view on this classic. OK, I’ll admit it would be great for it to have a director who is good at directing actors. But Star Wars is an archetype for my generation, and is really a concept that transcends any specific celluloid instance. Lucas proved that when he released the special editions; he works to serve the story in the best way he can. I would like to see other directors get the chance to tell this story. Hell yeah, Darren Aronofsky, Christopher Nolan, or Ridley Scott—get in there and see what angles you punch up! Hire unknown actors and let the story be king, which is what made the original soar. I’m not talking about parody or a wacky send-up; every director has his own style, and every human will have their own take on what makes the story great. And you know what? I’m like Crazy Eddie here, and I’m going to make you a deal: IT DOESN’T EVEN HAVE TO BE IN SPACE. Star Wars dipped from the well of Japanese cinema, and decanted into a galaxy far far away. Set it in Chechnya, with the brave rebels fighting Russia. You see? It’s about the struggle and the adventure (Allison Anders, I’m looking in your direction). Seriously, though, I’d really prefer it to be in space.
—Christian Lipski
The Leech Woman, 1960
IMDB describes the movie thusly: “An endocrinologist in a dysfunctional marriage with an aging, alcoholic wife journeys to Africa seeking a drug that will restore youth.” While other movies have parodied a culture of youth and vanity (Death Becomes Her), I can’t think of one that’s addressed these issues through the lens of science fiction and/or horror. Granted, I’ve only seen The Leech Woman via Mystery Science Theater 3000, but it’s still pretty damn compelling. If you take out the offensive cultural stereotypes of African tribal people, there’s a good message in there about sexism, feminism, and aging. I’d love to see this redone by Mary Harron or even David Cronenberg.
—Less Lee Moore
The Leech Woman has been soaking in it!
10 Responses to “The Remakening: Movies That Should Be Remade”
March 30th, 2010 at 10:28 pm
I REALLY wanna see _The Monitors_. That is a GREAT idea for a film. Is the book any good?
Also: I ALMOST did _Giants and Toys_, becuase I remember watching it and wanting to remake it as a bit more biting satire — but I didn’t write anything up because I can’t remember any particulars, and I didn’t wanna re-watch it, heh. But trust me — they should remake Giants and Toys and totally do something with it! I don’t remember exactly what, but SOMETHING!
March 31st, 2010 at 2:33 am
I’ve been looking for a copy of “The Monitors” for years. I think there are some dubious-sourced versions available on some of those crazy underground cult movie DVD websites. Susan Oliver is great in it (best known as Vina, the crash survivor and part-time green Orion slave girl from the 1964 Star Trek pilot). I have never been able to get a copy of the book.
“The Leech Woman” sounds great! And I agree “Labyrinth” is in dire need of an overhaul. Make it even cheesier…cast Davey Havok.
I love “Hellzapoppin'”! Olsen and Johnson were brilliant…deranged, sure, but brilliant. All these suggestions are great…so much so that they spurred me to think of four made-in-the-80s runner-ups:
“Night Of The Comet”–such a good movie, and personally I wouldn’t touch a frame, but a remake would do massive box office.
“Modern Girls” (great ill-fated party-girls-night-out movie starring Virginia Madsen, Clayton Rohner and…um, Daphne Zuniga? A total mess but very fun. I love you, Bruno X!)
“Electric Dreams”–Madsen again, matched with dreamy nerd Lenny Von Dohlen and a drunken, obsessively lovestruck, possibly psychotic AI computer voiced by Bud Cort…great casting, great concept, but the execution plays like a long-form MTV video for Toto.
“Slam Dance”–the terrific Tom Hulce, Madsen, and I kid you not, an evil Adam Ant in a neon-LA noir that could have been so good (but so isn’t). In fact let’s just go ahead and remake all Virginia Madsen movies. She can still be in ’em, she looks great and still does great work, but some cohesive stories and direction would be a big help.
March 31st, 2010 at 12:49 pm
I’m down with an animated Labryinth remake – but Bowie has to do the voice of Jareth. NO ONE ELSE CAN DO IT.
March 31st, 2010 at 1:56 pm
Not even Jemaine Clement doing his Bowie impersonation? HAHA!
LLM
March 31st, 2010 at 1:57 pm
Oh, and Kit: I have seen “Slam Dance” and I remember HATING it, but that was a long time ago.
I would be happy if “Night of the Comet” were available on DVD; it’s been far too long since I’ve even seen it.
LLM
March 31st, 2010 at 3:44 pm
Hey Christian — I’m down! If you can scare up about $200,000 it’s totally doable! And Dave Markey should most definitely start casting the remake of Bummer Now! And yeah Mary Harron could kick ass on Leech Woman!
“Star Wars, that Allison Anders movie”…I like the sound of it!
March 31st, 2010 at 7:03 pm
Allison, I am working on the $200000 currently by trying to find work 😉 I’ll keep you posted…
Kit, YES SLAM DANCE. The original was so dark, I loved it.
Peter – there’s a manga Labyrinth series, and the look is perfect. I’d like to see an anime Labyrinth. But yes, only if Bowie does the voice of Jareth.
March 31st, 2010 at 7:06 pm
Whoa, Peter is a huge anime fan. I think this needs to happen stat!!
LLM
April 9th, 2010 at 10:03 am
IT DOESN’T EVEN HAVE TO BE IN SPACE.<<<– genius!!
April 27th, 2013 at 2:32 pm
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