Tatt-screwed! Top Five Wanna-Be Scary Tattoos

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5. Michael “Mongoloid” Myers

Now this couldn’t be more appropriate for this article!

The character of Michael Myers, for the most part, looks like a blob or a marshmallow, but scary, of course. This however, just looks ridiculous! This is so fucking awful, it could actually use maybe a name-tag or label so you can be sure it is what you think it is. . . or the owner of this tattoo would have to tell you it that it was indeed, Michael Myers!

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4. Skull Bong

Now, I have honestly seen worse scattoos than this one, but this one has a special place in my bowels! The bad perspective of the pipe in the back of the skull and the teeth are what really inked the deal for me! Har Har Har!

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3. The RedRum Right Hand Job

Yet another horror-film fan! I understand why this guy likes Jack Nicholson’s character in The Shining. . . but this looks like what Nick Cave would look like if he were still on smack, or if he died of smack and they dug him up (or Nick Cave without a stylist)!

2. The Howling: Part 80, Invasion of the Manimals!

These are so fucking bad, I had to lump them into one entry because I can’t decide which one is the worst, or what the fuck kind of animal any of these things are! Feel free to chime in with suggestions as to what the fuck species these creatures are (click for larger versions).

1. IT’S A TIE!!!

Yes, there are two that I feel are equally as bad (and even worse than the other ones) and I can’t decide which is the worst! They’re equally funny, however.

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REPTAR

I named this one Reptar, because it fucking looks like Reptar from that kids’ cartoon called The Rugrats. The Rugrats love this fictional character named “Reptar” which is supposed to be like Barney but the Rugrats are a very crudely drawn cartoon to begin with. This scattoo is not modeled after Reptar, unfortunately. . . it just naturally sucks! I really feel bad for the poor fucker in this photo! An esteemed colleague of mine named Howard had a very good observation about this piece of shit and quipped, “I love the way it just stops at a certain point for absolutely no apparent reason!”

POOP

I think this one speaks for itself. . . the epitome of my hybrid word. . . SCATTOO! I think the part I like the most about this one is the squiggly lines to indicate the steam that emanates off of a fresh pile of POOP, and how the word POOP itself has this sort of Metal band typeface.

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(FYI: I do NOT have a tattoo, now would I ever want one. . . and maybe this will make some of you think twice before you end up with something this ugly as a reminder for the rest of your life!)

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