Driving Me Backwards (Apologies To Brian Eno)

By Jimmy Ether

As a kid, backward masking gave me chills. But, I was also intrigued by the idea of spinning records backwards to see what crazy messages I might hear. The creepiest one to me at the time was Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven.” As the urban legend goes, Jimmy Page purchased Aleister Crowley’s mansion and was, effectively, living with Satan. He then encoded backwards messages of this experience into “Stairway to Heaven”. If you play the fifth verse of the song backwards, you hear an account of life with this terrifying Prince of Darkness.

Click to hear “Oh here’s to my sweet Satan.
The one whose little path would make me sad,
whose power is Satan.
He will give those with him 666.
There was a little tool shed
where he made us suffer, sad Satan.”

A creepy, ominous warning right? But this got me thinking. Maybe the message isn’t as dark as it seems. Maybe Page was simply trying to say:

“Hey everyone, if you’re looking for a roommate, stay away from Satan. He’s a nice guy and all, but kind of a downer to live with. He stomped paths all though my perennial garden. His rent was $850 a month but he always paid me $666. Don’t even get me started on the woodworking he’d wake me up to every Sunday at 6 a.m.”

So, he probably shouldn’t list Jimmy Page among his references. But Satan can’t be all bad right? Maybe Jimmy Page just has a bit of a Felix Unger complex. Perhaps Satan was the Ernie to Page’s Bert. We should probably get some other perspectives on the guy. He’s apparently inspired many an artist. Maybe Queen can tell us what they learned from him?

Click to hear “It’s fun to smoke marijuana.”

Who can argue with that?

And what does he do when he gets the munchies? “Satan eats cheese whiz.”

Ah, thanks Al. He’s probably pretty laid back. Likes to party. I wonder how the girls take to him.

Click to hear “Sleep with me. I’m not too young.”

Woah! Clearly we need to keep him away from the Spears girls. That’s a one-way trip to jail. And the VD clinic.

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