Great Expirations: Top Five Deaths Under Suspicious (Or Nefarious) Circumstances

1. Nelson Rockefeller: Former US Vice President

Manner of death: Death by copulation (i.e., was having sex)

Photo © Alfred Eisenstaedt

Nelson Rockefeller became Vice President under the Ford administration in the 1970s. Probably my only recollection of his political career is when he gave the one-fingered salute to a protester in the 1970s right in front of Viagra pitchman Bob Dole. The other recollection I have about Rockefeller (a.k.a. “Rocky”) is how he died. Rocky capped the 1970s with the most embarrassing death in the history of mankind.

In early 1979, Rocky died at age 70 of a heart attack. Initial reports placed him at work, slumped over his desk, anthologizing his art collection. However, later it was revealed he had been at his home working on a collection of a different sort—a collection of ladies’ panties! All jokes aside, Rocky was allegedly found in the proximity of his 25-year-old aide who was (this is all allegedly) wearing little more than a Coke and a smile; when Rocky was felled by a coitus-induced heart attack, the aide panicked and called a friend, who only called 911 a whole hour after Rocky fell ill. Neither side has commented on the events that occurred the night Rocky died. One can only hope the old man was at least having some fun up to the point when the lights went out. . .

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