Top Five Most Inadvertently Hilarious Rock Books

3. Rip It Up and Start Again, by Simon Reynolds (2005)

Simon Reynolds’ Rip It Up and Start Again specifically details each geographic “scene” associated with the end of punk rock and the birth (and eventual demise) of post-punk music in the late 1970s and early 1980s. To me ,the most hilarious anecdotes deal with the rise and fall of Public Image Ltd., and the splintering of the original lineup of the Human League into Heaven 17.

The gangsta war between the Human League and Heaven 17 preceded Biggie vs. Tupac by at least 15 years but apparently held a ton of aggression. In addition, Malcolm McLaren was so disgusted by John Lydon “outing” himself as an art rock- and reggae-obsessed aesthete in a radio show (on London’s Capital Radio station called “The Punk and His Music”) that he focused his energies on promoting Sid Vicious as a truly “punk” musical star (even though Sid Vicious had arguably little or no musical talent whatsoever).

A sample of the text (page 324), about Heaven 17 vs. the Human League:

“After being kicked out of the Human League by his old friend Phil Oakey, Martyn Ware was hopping mad . . . The second side of Penthouse [Penthouse and Pavement, Heaven 17’s 1981 debut]. . . was done in just one week. ‘I was incandescent with anger,’ says Ware.”

Also, regarding John Lydon “gushing” about his favorite music, from page 16:

“This naturally incensed [Malcolm] McLaren, who accused Lydon of dissipating ‘[The Sex Pistols’] threat’ by revealing himself as ‘a man of taste.’ McLaren saw the Pistols as antimusic, but here was Lydon waxing lyrical about his esoteric record collection and gushing, ‘I just like all music. . . I love my music’ like a fucking hippie!”

While a ton of writing and film exists about the Sex Pistols’ implosion, why is there no footage of the Human League’s implosion? This could possibly be the post-punk version of Let It Be. . .

2. I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead: The Dirty Life and Times of Warren Zevon, by Crystal Zevon (2007)

Warren Zevon is most infamous for his 1978 album Excitable Boy, featuring such vaguely debauched songs as “Werewolves of London” and “Lawyers, Guns, and Money” (apparently based on a true story; and if you’ve ever listened to the song. . . yeah, Warren had some interesting adventures). His ex-wife Crystal, who should be canonized for having to deal with Warren’s severe alcoholism and mood swings throughout their marriage, details the more insane aspects of Warren’s fame in her beautifully written and very detailed memoir (including dozens of interviews from Warren’s colleagues, friends, lovers, and family members).

It should be mentioned that most of this book is not hilarious at all; the details of Warren’s addictions are harrowing at best, and no doubt caused his family much, much heartache. However, some anecdotes stick out as being, well, pretty damn funny: Warren had to be carted onstage at some points as he attempted to fulfill the devastating myth of the “Excitable Boy,” and on occasion is known to rub pot roast on himself to congratulate Crystal on her excellent cooking. It’s anyone’s guess why Crystal stuck around as long as she did, but her patience must be commended and her book is heartbreaking as much as it is amusing at times.

A sample of the text (page 142), from an anecdote by Zevon associate Burt Stein:

“I remember going over to Warren and Crystal’s house one day and seeing this big hole in the bathroom floor. I asked Crystal what that was and it was something about shooting cockroaches with the .45. I’m like, ‘Whoa!’ Kind of gave me a little idea of what was going on.”

While this is unrelated to Warren Zevon, Joy Division producer Martin Hannett apparently was a fan of casual gunplay as well, and once shot a telephone when on the losing end of a conversation. And of course there is the very existence of Phil Spector. . . what is it about drug use and guns?

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