Popshifter‘s Best Of Lists

James Urbaniak (Venture Bros., Henry Fool, American Splendor, Fay Grim)

Top Ten Moments in Political Punditry 2008

10. “Obama’s Other Jeremiah Wrights”
Evan Gahr, Human Events Online, April 14
The “Other Jeremiah Wrights” of the title are Jay-Z, Ludacris, will.i.am, Russell Simmons, Nas, Mos Def and apparently every other rapper who has ever expressed support for Obama. Reason? Their lyrics sometimes include words like “b––––––.” (Mr. Gahr employs dashes to protect his readers from the b-word’s full impact.) “How do you find common ground. . . with someone who calls women ‘b–––––––?'” he asks before urging his colleagues to make Rappergate a big issue: “It’s high time the media ask some tough questions. Why has Obama collaborated with rappers? Is he familiar with their words?” Fun fact: In an interview four years earlier, Mr. Gahr called a female colleague a “dumb cunt” four times. “When I call her a dumb cunt, it’s for a reason,” he explained to porn aficionado Luke Ford. “That’s what she is and that’s what she should be recognized as.” Mr. Gahr should be recognized as a d–––.

9. “The Treatment of Bush Has Been a Disgrace”
Jeffrey Scott Shapiro, Wall Street Journal, November 5
“It should seem obvious that many of our country’s current problems either existed long before Mr. Bush ever came to office, or are beyond his control.” Totally. Come on, people, get off Bush’s back or die. Seriously: “Our failure to stand by the one person who continued to stand by us has not gone unnoticed by our enemies.” Well, somebody had to pull out the “Support Bush or the Terrorists Will Blow You Up” card one last time.

8. “How Could Stanley Ann Dunham Have Delivered Barack Hussein Obama Jr. In August of 1961 in Honolulu, When Official University of Washington Records Show Her 2680 Miles Away in Seattle Attending Classes That Same Month?”
Pamela Geller Oshry, atlasshrugs2000.typepad, October 24
Answer: Because Malcolm X fucked her in Washington state AND OBAMA IS HIS SON!!!1! (Don’t get Pamela started on the height similarities. As if you needed proof.) The stark raving wacko who wrote this (insanely long and rambling) post is not some fringe nonentity; she is regularly linked and referenced by the likes of Michelle Malkin and National Review Online. Welcome to Mainstream Conservatism 2008.

7. “Palin’s Experience”
Frank Gaffney, TownHall, September 2
A pro-Palin essay the bulk of which is a gravely thoughtful appreciation of her foreign policy bona fides. You guessed it: Alaska is next to Russia. “As that state’s governor, Sarah Palin would know more by osmosis—if nothing else—about the necessity for U.S. anti-missile systems than either Messrs. Obama or Biden.” He said without laughing.

6. Kevin James, Hardball, May 15
The right-wing radio host screams over and over about how Obama is an appeaser just like Neville Chamberlain (or, as he sputters at one point, “Nevlin Chamble”). Chris Matthews asks him repeatedly what exactly it was that Nevllle Chamberlin did. James refuses to answer and keeps on screaming. Finally, Matthews explains why James is wrong and tells him point blank that he has no idea what he’s talking about. James responds by screaming some more. TV punditry at its purest.

6. “Bashers Beware”
Anonymous, Investor’s Business Daily, May 19
Another Bush Was Great editorial, this one warning Republican candidates that they distance themselves from His Awesomeness at their peril. Fave line: “For the resilience of this economy, we can thank the president.”

4. “Intellectuals for McCain-Palin”
Laura Ingraham hosts the loneliest YouTube channel ever.

3. “Tell Us (You Frigid Bitches)! What Else Your Daugther [sic] Hillary Must Do, To Become President?” Bumper sticker, Los Angeles
Saw this on a car in my neighborhood. I initially assumed it was written by a male Hillary hater until a friend pointed out that it could be interpreted as an angry female Hillary supporter calling out other women for supporting Obama. We may never truly plumb its mysteries.

2. “The Obama Temptation”
Mark R. Levin, National Review Online, October 25
“I honestly never thought we’d see such a thing in our country—not yet anyway—but I sense what’s occurring in this election is a recklessness and abandonment of rationality that has preceded the voluntary surrender of liberty and security in other places. . . my greatest concern is whether this election will show a majority of the voters susceptible to the appeal of a charismatic demagogue.” Writes the man who once nominated Rush Limbaugh for the Nobel Peace Prize.

1. “Projecting Through the Screen”
Rich Lowry, National Review Online, October 3

The man who once wrote that the will.i.am “Yes We Can” Obama video was “sad, scary and hilarious all at once” said of Sarah Palin in her debate: “I’m sure I’m not the only male in America who, when Palin dropped her first wink, sat up a little straighter on the couch and said, ‘Hey, I think she just winked at me.’ And her smile. By the end, when she clearly knew she was doing well, it was so sparkling it was almost mesmerizing. It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America.” Pundit, heal thyself.

[James Urbaniak has not been featured in Popshifter. Yet. He is my favorite political blogger, however.—Ed.]

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