Hotel California Radio Show: Lon Chaney, Joan Crawford, And Buster Crabbe

Buster Crabbe

TERRI
Do you think that the use of the many, many sets of bared men’s legs in both the Flash Gordon series and Tarzan, was a blatant attempt by costume artists to make the show’s casts look gay?

BUSTER CRABBE
That is an interesting idea, and I would have to say yes. It’s fun to be a bit sexy on TV. I think that the reason for it is so many people just like to see a nice leg or even the gentle slope of a woman’s armpit, on TV, at night, while they relax with their family.

TERRI
Thanks, Crabbe. Always a pleasure. As our regular listeners know, Buster C. here has just about become a fixture on this show and has been on the show. . . what do you think Buster? Nearly twice a week for the last. . . month, do you think?

BUSTER CRABBE
That sounds about right, Terri.

TERRI
Terrific. Now last but not least, I would like to introduce Ms. Joan Crawford. Joan?

JOAN CRAWFORD
Yes?

TERRI
What is it about your Big-Time Hollywood career do you think that makes you a Star and a Cult Star?

JOAN CRAWFORD
Hello. Well I would have to say that The Unknown, the silent film that was first to really show me as an ageless beauty and a very responsive young actress, would be the one. Chaney himself worked with me on it and was very impressed with me and my looks. I was said to be an “amazing and breathtaking beauty” in that one.

LON CHANEY
That you are, Joan.

TERRI
Yes. Well, I loved Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? which paired you with the impeccable Bette Davis. I remember thinking that you were so incredibly manly, around the face, that I could barely stand it! I was sad when you died.

Then, in the movie Mommie Dearest Faye Dunaway played you and gave us a chilling biographical portrayal of an actress in later life who can’t stand her own skin and desperately lashes out at her falsely adoptive daughter. I think that anyone who sees Mommie Dearest is going to end up saying “Wire hangers!” at the top of their lungs for quite sometime afterwards. . . I know I did.

BUSTER CRABBE
You know I did, Terri.

The Unknown, 1927

TERRI
Yes. Yes, well, I do what I do. . . for you! Ha ha ha.

BUSTER CRABBE
You’d better believe it!

TERRI
Right. Now to the heart of the matter: I do think that you are Cult, Ms. Crawford, for two reasons. One, because a lot of men like to dress up like you, and two, in real life you were crazy.

Is this true?

JOAN CRAWFORD
Oh well, you know, all in the name of Hollywood! I just tried to put everything into my movies so everyone would see the true beauty of the person. That’s all.

TERRI
Well that’s all the time we have for today. Thanks to Joan, Buster, and Lon. We look forward to seeing you in the future! Goodbye Joan?

JOAN CRAWFORD
Goodbye.

TERRI
Thanks again all, and we’ll see you again, tomorrow at 8 a.m., from the Grand Dining Hall of the Hotel California. We are sending you back now to the three-part listening series, The Music of Elvis Stojko.

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5 MINUTES TIME-ELAPSED

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TRANSMISSION #3574927656234690

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TUESDAY / JANUARY / 28 / 2005

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8:05 A.M .

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HOTEL CALIFORNIA RADIO SHOW—TITLE: THE MUSIC OF ELVIS STOJKO

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RETRIEVED RADIO BROADCAST

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ALIEN A-1 RADIO SATELLITE

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5 HOURS RUN-TIME

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