Ron Howard: Who Loves Ya Baby?

By Michelle Patterson

Ron Howard is a gem of a human being. And when I use the word “gem” I’m referring to his acting and voiceover work. The Andy Griffith Show was many things: charming, sickeningly sweet, funny, and surprisingly open-minded about parenting habits and the courtship of a widower. Most of all, though, it allowed children of the time (and even today for those kids who, like me, were prone to dabbling in Nick at Nite‘s lineup) the opportunity to project themselves into the role of Opie Taylor.

Ron Howard accepts a
Directors Guild of America
award for A Beautiful Mind
Photo © http://dga.org

Howard infused the role with a saltiness not seen in most child actors of the day. He had the cockiness of Dennis the Menace‘s Jay North combined with the sweet sincerity and general cluelessness of Leave It to Beaver‘s Jerry Mathers. I remember wanting to BE Opie or to at least be as accidentally wise as he was. Sure, the lessons he learned were painfully obvious, yet they proved that curiosity in a child isn’t a character flaw. A friendship between a father and son could be something worth having and not merely a prompt for constant television instances of parental exasperation. (God, Lucy, Little Ricky just wanted some of your attention!) Avoidance of the “Jump the Shark” syndrome, though, is crucial in maintaining a respect of Howard as an actor. After all, we know that Howard’s newest autobiography would never contain any hints of scandalous stories of couch-sex a la Scott Baio.

Ron Howard has a way of using his nasally voice to reflect sarcasm and tenderness at the same time. During his many narrative asides on the brilliant Arrested Development, I would think to myself, “Howard can be a magnificent and charming bastard when someone gives him a smart script to work with” or “Check out the comedic timing on Opie!” I’d argue that he only served to strengthen the already genius-level of the show. His hilarious voice-over work on The Simpsons and Frasier is also a beautiful thing to behold.

Now, I know you’re thinking Ron Howard is my #1 Celebrity Crush. But you’d be wrong. This is not a love letter. In fact, I’m confused as to why all of these gifts don’t lend themselves to Howard as a director. His best films owe more to a workhorse ethic, interesting and solid material, and the fact that he’s such a nice guy. His best films deserve, at best, a C+. He coasts on the strengths of his actors and even then I’d argue that none of the fabulous talent that he’s had at his fingertips delivers a surprising performance.

For example, Russell Crowe’s other roles prove that the man can do a lot with very little. Yet the material Howard gave him in A Beautiful Mind was already so boxed-in, it bordered on negative character-dimensionality. (I’m also gauging this on the fact that Robert Nash is a completely fascinating person worthy of another shot at his life, film-wise.) Neither director nor actor complements each other in a way that propels the movie’s plot forward. It always trudges monotonously along, with nary a spark of life.

Elia Kazan’s East of Eden

I’m not enraged or enthralled by Howard’s work. During his supposedly exciting action sequences I find myself utterly bored. They just happen to be there, neither shiny nor pretty: a plate of mac-and-cheese gone cold. There are people who enjoy his films; people who encourage Howard like a kid who is bad at math, hoping that he’ll learn SOMETHING eventually and put those lessons to good use in the near future. Accordingly, when a film of his falls yet again on the mediocre scale the word “Oscar” is murmured and a few nominations are sometimes thrown his way much like when that bad math kid gets treated to a dinner at Olive Garden for not failing his latest math quiz. But encouraging mediocrity has dire consequences. Witness the following.

Howard is to set to direct not one, but two remakes of very different but equally exciting films: East of Eden and Cache. First of all, Cache was released in 2005. Not exactly a film ripe for re-imagining, let alone one that wasn’t fully realized in the first place. There are flaws with Cache, but those lie more in the story than in the execution. It personalizes a hot-button political issue in such a way that it borders on terrifying me now even just thinking about it.

Then, there’s the possibility of Howard re-working a film from one of the most volatile filmmakers of the last half-century, Elia Kazan. His East of Eden is a beautiful and elegant epic, using the most delicate touch with a decidedly heavy subject matter. Not to mention it contains the most complex characterization James Dean ever put to film. So, which of these screams “Ron Howard Must Do This!!” to you? Which one is begging for his particular stamp of blandness? Dodging the issue of remaking good films that deserve to be left alone, are there no other directors in Hollywood willing to take on either of these two projects? Are they all busy pitching new television shows to Les Moonves?

From what I’ve gathered here a few things are obvious: 1) Ron Howard is someone you’d probably want to get good and gooned with as he’d have dozens upon dozens of Old (and current) Hollywood royalty stories, 2) Ron Howard has good taste, 3) Ron Howard deserves accolades for his acting and voice-over work, and finally, 4) Ron Howard should craft a solid retirement plan, effective immediately. Otherwise, I’ll lose the five percent hope I have left in me that the Hollywood film industry will bounce back into another golden age and cynicism will reign supreme in my heart forever more.