Romance Schmomance

By Queen Spajina

It’s hard to believe I have gone my entire life believing that Casablanca and Gone with the Wind are two of the most Romantic movies ever made. After seeing both of these movies last year I was sickened and enraged at the idea that either one of these films are anyone’s favorite “most romantic movie ever.”

“Wow, you really are clingy and
filled with self-loathing.
No wonder I find you so attractive!”

While Romance is not something I take lightly, and I can’t imagine that most people do, I have started to think more about what people might be thinking when they choose a movie like Casablanca as their favorite Romantic film. I’ve started thinking about the idea that “love is war,” and how this is one of the most important messages that I have learned from my childhood.

Television has had a very important role in raising me, romantically, emotionally and intellectually. Movies are essentially entertainment, but I am tired of seeing the people around me turn to lives of crime, servitude, and self-hatred because they think that what they are seeing in the media are popular stereotypes based on lifestyle norms. People are made to feel inferior to “normal” people: the rich, the powerful, the beautiful, the bold; in other words, the individuals employed in the entertainment industry.

I personally subscribe to the Pretty Woman philosophy of Romance, without the tricks. My whole love life is shitty, I have a lot of personal battles, and I have no one to help me. I guess I think that in Pretty Woman, and other movies where women are prostitutes and pushovers, the message is “if I hang in there, with at least that one thing that a woman can do, I can fall in love with a rich man and he’ll take care of everything.” I think this is due to the socio-economic state of our country. If the lack of martini bars in my neighborhood are any indication, the chances of me falling in love are getting slimmer by the day. The toothless men that I hang out with will probably tell you the same thing.

Casablanca, released in 1942, has many confusing Romantic messages and I’m sure that most of them are misunderstood.

“Here’s looking at ME, kid.”

I think most men identify with Rick Blaine, the sly and well-greased bar-keep in Morocco, profiting in the jumping-off point for people fleeing WWII. Ingrid Bergman is obviously a woman in shock after losing her anti-Nazi-partisan husband (Victor Laszlo) to a political abduction. Ingrid runs into the arms of another dude that looks a lot like Victor (Rick Blaine). When Ingrid finds out that her husband is still alive she dumps the poorer and less successful Rick and runs away with her and richer more powerful husband (Victor). Meeting Rick again, and needing his help, Ingrid basically thinks that Rick is the safer bet. I guess Casablanca is just a story about soft-lighting on a beautiful girl who is only looking out for herself. This seems to be a story of being “sucked-off-by-an-angel” and we are all familiar with it. In the end, Ingrid is merely confused. These man-woman love morals from WWII are too outdated for any person living in the twenty-first century.

Then there’s the coveted romantic example of Gone with the Wind from 1931, a story peddled by many as one of the great Romances of modern cinema. If this is an accurate reference, the following quote was used as a tagline for a reissue of the film:

“For the thousands who remember its unparalleled drama, action and romance!
For the new thousands to whom the wonders will be revealed for the first time!
Breathtaking spectacle, inspired acting by the greatest cast ever assembled!
The screen’s most exciting love story!
The most-talked about picture ever made!”

If you ask me, there is almost no Romance in this story. I think Gone with the Wind is more about a woman who can’t have what she wants because she has shown herself to be strong, so the table scraps around her decide that they have had enough of her being strong. People in the film only want Scarlett to be jealous; they barely care about her but they need her more than she knows. Scarlett, our heroine, is not allowed to go anywhere in the world because of her ingrained sense of duty and she has nowhere to go even if she could! One day the impetuously unhappy Rhett Butler comes to town and decides that Scarlett will have him or nobody else will. Rhett periodically pushes her into danger like the American Civil War. Sometimes Rhett beats Scarlett up. When Rhett gets Scarlett to have his baby Rhett is very happy because their daughter looks exactly like her mother.

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