How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Robot

The greatest robot of all is probably R2D2 because he is funny, and doesn’t dwell on all that “am I real” crap. He’s never had any quest for “feelings” or worries about finding true love. This is a relief because he’s low-maintenance. It’s best when someone can just be himself and not get in your face about his personal problems. I would say it’s a bit of a drag that he’s a friend of C3PO, but it probably keeps him out of trouble and out of the bars. R2 seems like the kind of robot who could easily have a talk show where he’d play video games with friends but I don’t think that would be a good use of his star power. He may need to be nagged a bit to get things done.

Fan-created R2D2 replica
from Star Wars Celebration IV

One situation that is often discussed is when a robot is trying to get a heart for his empty tin chest; should he take a human heart or an ersatz one like a heart-shaped clock? What he really needs are feelings. Feelings are tough things to go out and find; you cannot just get them on the street, unless you are trying to get felt up. I do think that robots just want to be like everyone else so a heart-shaped anything seems to do the best job for their self-confidence, as long as it is not just a door in their chest to an empty space.

I may not have a badge that says “Robot Expert,” and I may or may not have been formulating my own comprehensive list about what robots starred in or played supporting roles in which TV shows, but I do love robots. Not only are they amazing creations of human invention—from wheel to household servant that realistically navigates stairs with trays or vacuums your carpet—they are also a sign of the times. Surely robots have come a long way.

Not only have they captured the imagination of artists, scientists, and patrons, they’ve also evolved to be more human by coining brilliant one-liners such as “Yo,” “NuMBer 5 Is AlivE,” “R2—Wait for Meeee,” or even “Dave, what are you doing?”

With all of their wondrous achievements, I can barely imagine that a world without robots is a world worth fighting for.

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