Commercial Appeal: Three TV Ad Tropes That Have Littered My Life (and everyone else’s)

By Jesse Roth

Television, for better or worse, has always played a significant role in my life. Its influence, however, did not stop when my favorite shows would “take five” for the benefit of their sponsors. A good portion of my TV-related memories seem to involve the various ads clogging the airwaves, some of which were far more memorable than the shows they were sponsoring. Though I was rarely motivated enough to buy the products they were promoting, the following commercials have found a permanent home in my mind, no matter how hard I try to forget them.
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The Comfort Of Familiarity: Five Classic Canadian Public Television Idents

By Emily Carney

Many television-philes like myself are obsessed with classic station identifications, or idents, from our childhood years. Whenever I hear the old PBS ident music from the 1980s, immediately I hearken back to the days when I used to watch Sesame Street and Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood before taking my Dukes of Hazzard Big Wheel out for a leisurely spin.

In the last few years, I’ve familiarized myself with some Canadian TV idents which are as cool, diverse, and strangely comforting as their American counterpart’s idents. Here’s a small list of the very best Canadian idents from the past few decades.
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My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic Is Magic

By Matt Keeley

The Hub’s My Little Pony is one of the the best shows on television. I came to it rather late, despite having friends who were already fans, mainly because, well . . . who would ever think that statement could ever be true? But it is. And it’s all thanks to Lauren Faust.
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The Feminist Mystique: Joan Holloway, Peggy Olson, And Protofeminism In Mad Men

By Chelsea Spear

Hey Mad Men fans, let’s play a word association game. When I say to you “Peggy Olson,” what comes to mind? Of course you’d think of the plucky, ambitious copywriter of Sterling Cooper, a Cinderella out of nowhere who’s made a name for herself both through her skill with words and her dogged pursuit of every opportunity that comes her way. Thoughts of Peggy’s unfortunate wardrobe might also cross your mind, as you think about her fondness for mustard yellow and those ridiculous fluffy bangs she rocked in the early episodes.

Okay, so let’s try this again, this time with “Joan Holloway.” Two words might pop into your head: Hotchie and/or motchie! Yes, Joan is the series’ breakout character, beloved by voluptuous women and drag queens everywhere for her jewel-toned wiggle dresses, her red hair, and her way with a bon mot. True, she’s saved the bacon at SC and assisted in building the new ad firm Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce, but who are we kidding? She’s as well known for her sex appeal as she is for her efficiency and professionalism.
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Oh Hamburgers: Thoughts On South Park‘s 15-Year Run

By Ben Sullivan

Few serialized forms of entertainment—let alone television shows—have been so defined by an overt enthusiasm to piss off all elements of their viewing audience as South Park. Presaging the Adult Swim grotesque and Seth McFarland’s ribald flippancy, South Park tossed its cavalier line into every cultural imbroglio, national hypocrisy, or simple question of taste at hand. From paparazzi to PETA to NAMBLA, from hybrid drivers to iPad users to country music listeners, from liberals to conservatives to just about any A, B, or C-list celeb caught in the compromises of fame and exposure, South Park‘s defamatory fangs have never wanted for fresh meat.

Reluctantly passing the torch . . .
even if they both agree on Family Guy.

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“Welcome To Fucking Deadwood.”

By Paul Casey

Deadwood ran for three seasons on HBO before it was cancelled. It did not have the longevity or the success of The Sopranos or The Wire, yet its vision of the Modern Western stays with us, and reminds us of the potential of the television series to surpass even the greatest cinematic efforts.

The journey of the Western is a long and strange one, and Deadwood stands as the end result of decades of progression from the seemingly superficial adventure picture to a genre which can deal with the darkest themes and stories. I believe it to be the greatest Western of its kind.
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Sick And Sin: The Allure Of Lace

By Less Lee Moore

“Incidentally, which one of you bitches is my mother?” has become an iconic piece of television history, especially to anyone who grew up in the 1980s. This infamous line of dialogue—spat, rather than spoken, by Phoebe Cates—from the 1984 TV miniseries Lace, is hardly the most ridiculous thing that takes place during one of the most notorious television miniseries.
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A Day On The Tube: 35 Clown-Hating, Sponsor-Trashing, Kid-Riot Years With Wallace And Ladmo

By Cait Brennan

From left to right:
Wallace, Gerald (the “spoiled rich kid”), and Ladmo

In the spring of 2011, PBS’s acclaimed series Pioneers Of Television presented a special on the lost world of locally-produced kids’ TV shows. The names and faces were familiar, giants like Fred Rogers, Willard Scott as Bozo, Romper Room, Bill Cosby, Jim Henson. And among them—taking up almost half of the hour-long show—were names unfamiliar to most of the nationwide audience, but known and beloved in the Southwest for generations: The stars of the subversive, satirical sketch-and-cartoon show Wallace and Ladmo. On the air five days a week for a staggering 35 years, the show broke every rule in the kids’ TV book, and earned a legion of fanatical fans.
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How You Can’t Do That On Television Changed Kids’ Television

By Emily Carney

Like many kids, I was obsessed with Monty Python’s Flying Circus growing up. Python was featured on America’s Public Broadcasting Service (PBS), usually sandwiched between Doctor Who (with Tom Baker!) and a terrible British sitcom called ‘Allo ‘Allo. It had a great classically-rooted theme song, and was completely hilarious.

It should be explicitly stated, however, that Python was not, in any way, shape, or form, a kids’ TV show. It presented a lot of adult situations (“I LIKE TITS!” is actually a quote by Terry Jones, the Welsh member of the troupe). I would NEVER let my nephew and niece watch Python, as I don’t want to be collared for child abuse. So, when my parents were actually watching me, I’d switch the channel to Nickelodeon (a relatively new cable offering at the time) and watch the Canadian TV show, You Can’t Do That On Television. YCDTOT at its best was the preteen version of Python, and possessed its own brand of surreal, controversial humor. It also had a great attention-getting classical theme song.
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The Crystal Maze And The Magic Of Richard O’Brien

By Paul Casey

The Crystal Maze was a game show which aired on British television in the 1990s; for four of its six series it was presented by Richard O’Brien, who as you may know, wrote that grand love letter to Sci Fi and B-movies, The Rocky Horror Show, as well as its film adaptation.

As host Reckless Rick, O’Brien guided a group of frustrated working stiffs through themed “zones”; the goal was to capture the titular crystals in order to win a trip to a B&B 30 minutes up the road (or something equally miserable). Each zone came with its share of mental, physical, skill, and mystery challenges. Reckless Rick ain’t here, I’m afraid, so I’m your guide. And if you’re smart, or very, very lucky, you will discover wonderful televisual prizes. GOGOGO!
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